Its All About These 2 Simple Things
Yes BUT…" I hear you say:
"Stephen you don’t understand, my employers are taking advantage of me, I am about to be made redundant...
I am in debt and my finances are a mess...
My wife/husband/partner and I keep arguing...
I am under so much pressure...
I need to DO something – anything NOW!"
My friend I have been there – believe me – more than once, and over many years, I do know what it feels like to be $200k in debt, with no credit, no paying clients, a mortgage company foreclosing, creditors suing me and with no apparent prospects of recovery…
Are you in a mess and having a really tough time right now?
Here's some immediate advice on how to change your life NOW.
It Took Me At Least 30 Years And A Lot Of Suffering To Discover These 2 Simple Things
We need to learn how to change the way we think so that we can think in the most constructive and positive way.
We need to learn how to NOT think – that is to STOP thinking – and to be able to do so on demand.
This may all seem deeply simplistic, and it is in fact very easy to understand the idea of "How To Think" and "How To Stop Thinking" but without guidance and support it is not so easy to put into practice.
This is our point of focus on this site and in all of the supporting articles, and I will show you how to put this into practise - so you needn’t take as long as I did to master it, because I spent the first 30 years of my adult life learning how to think and the last 5 years learning how to stop thinking!
Like many/most people I believed that if only I could master this mental skill or that skill I could change my life.
If only I could always stay positive, exercise enough faith, do my affirmations etc I could crack it.
It took me at least 30 years – much soul-searching and a lot of suffering to discover that I needed to learn how to stop thinking – that my thinking mind is actually very limited - and why.
Why our thinking minds are so limited
There are 2 fundamental reasons
[1] We are walking around with the same hardware as our Paleolithic ancestors.
The art of thinking clearly starts with the sobering realisation that our brains are designed to enable us to survive and to reproduce.
As Nassim Taleb succinctly put it:
“Our minds are not quite designed to understand how the world works, but, rather, to get out of trouble rapidly and have progeny."
98% of our thinking is unconscious, automatic and impulsive.
This thinking uses our mammalian brain which is all about emotions and is driven by our reptilian brain which is focused on survival.
Professor William Irvine gives an overview of evolutionary psychology and the development of thinking systems in our brain:
[2] We are so susceptible to cognitive biases and what is known as "The Psychology of Human Misjudgment"
Here is a brief overview of some of the main causes of misjudgment
Some of the best ways of avoiding these pitfalls:
- Understand the power and pitfalls of Heuristics i.e. the mental short cuts that we all use all the time in everyday decisions.
- Understand the forces at play, especially the boundary between knowing what you do know and what you don't know. Understand your Circle Of Competence.
- When making important and significant decisions, invest the time to apply good Thinking Skills to the whole decision making process.
- Pay particular attention to First Principles Thinking and Second Order Thinking
- Understand and apply Mental Models
Why we find it so hard to stop thinking
There are 2 fundamental reasons:
1] The Thought Stream - Your Thinking Mind Runs On Autopilot
It is impossible to turn this mind off. It just is what it is and it does what it does.
It is constantly spewing out a stream of thoughts some connected and many seemingly unconnected.
2] Your Observing Mind Gets Fused With This Thought Stream
We make the mistake of the mistake of identifying with our thinking mind by saying "I am angry" rather than saying "I feel anger".
Most of our emotional and psychological stress happens because our Thinking Mind and our Observing Mind are fused.
- The first big takeaway in learning how to stop thinking is to understand that you are not your thoughts - what matters is not the content of your thoughts but your relationship with your thoughts.
- The second big takeaway is that the fastest way to unfuse your thinking mind and your observing mind is to accept your thoughts.
Its All About These 2 Simple Things - Resources
How To Think - Thinking Skills - Focusing On HOW Not WHAT To Think
The Art Of Thinking Clearly - How To Do More Than Just Survive And Reproduce
The Human Brain Did Not Evolve For A Life Of Delayed Gratification
Cognitive DistortionsThe Psychology of Human Misjudgment
Can You Stop Thinking? Discover The Joy Of A Quiet Mind
Freeing Yourself From Your Mind
Next Article: 4 Big Reasons Why We Get Stuck
Return from "Its All About These 2 Simple Things" to: How To Change Your Life
LATEST ARTICLES
The Inner Weight of Shame - Sustained By Attentional Fixation
A Mind That Is Continuously Engaged In Self-Surveillance. Shame is one of the heaviest inner burdens a human being can carry. It does not announce itself loudly or demand attention through drama. Inst…Does Prayer Work? The Psychology of Prayer, Meditation and Outcomes
Reality Is A Complex System Of Countless Interactions - Including Yours. So does prayer work? The problem is that the question itself is usually framed in a way that guarantees confusion. We tend to a…Living in Survival Mode Without Surrendering Mental Authority
Living in Survival Mode Without Surrendering Mental Authority
Clear Thinking When You’re Just Trying to Stay Afloat. Many people today are overwhelmed because they are living in survival mode - not temporarily, but as a persistent condition of life. For many, th…Manifestation Without Magic: A Practical Model
Manifestation without magic is not a softer or more intellectual version of popular manifestation culture. It is a different model altogether. Popular manifestation teachings tend to frame reality as…Staying Committed When You Can't See Progress - The Psychology of Grit
Uncertainty Is Not The Absence Of Progress, Only The Absence Of Reassurance. One of the most destabilising experiences in modern life is not failure, but uncertainty and staying committed when you can…The Battle For Your Mind - How To Win Inner Freedom In A Digital Age Of Distraction
From External Events to Inner Events. We often think of “events” as things that happen out there: the traffic jam, the rude comment, the delayed email reply. But what truly shapes our experience is wh…How to See Your Thoughts Without Becoming the Story
A Practical Guide to Thought-Awareness. You can spend your life inside the stories of your mind without ever learning how to see your thoughts clearly and objectively. Most of the stuff we tell oursel…The Collison Decision Matrix - A Simple Framework for Better Choices
The Collison Decision Matrix Is A Practical Everyday Thinking Tool. Most of us spend a surprising amount of time worrying about decisions. From small ones such as what to wear, what to eat, what to te…The Power Of Asking The Right Question
The Power Of Asking The Right Question Lies In The Quest For Insight. To experience the power of asking the right question you must develop the practice of asking questions. The best way to improve th…Site Pathways
Here is a site pathway to help new readers of Zen-Tools navigate the material on this site. Each pathway is based around one of the many key themes covered on this site and contain a 150 word introduc…How To Live With Contradiction - Beyond Thought Let Stillness Speak
A major impact on so many peoples' lives is the situational contradiction of unfilled realistic expectations. So where does all this leave us? Well here we are, with mental equipment that is more lim…