
Yes BUT…" I hear you say:
"Stephen you don’t understand, my employers are taking advantage of me, I am about to be made redundant...
I am in debt and my finances are a mess...
My wife/husband/partner and I keep arguing...
I am under so much pressure...
I need to DO something – anything NOW!"
My friend I have been there – believe me – more than once, and over many years, I do know what it feels like to be $200k in debt, with no credit, no paying clients, a mortgage company foreclosing, creditors suing me and with no apparent prospects of recovery…
Are you in a mess and having a really tough time right now?
Here's some immediate advice on how to change your life NOW.

We need to learn how to change the way we think so that we can think in the most constructive and positive way.
We need to learn how to NOT think – that is to STOP thinking – and to be able to do so on demand.
This may all seem deeply simplistic, and it is in fact very easy to understand the idea of "How To Think" and "How To Stop Thinking" but without guidance and support it is not so easy to put into practice.
This is our point of focus on this site and in all of the supporting articles, and I will show you how to put this into practise - so you needn’t take as long as I did to master it, because I spent the first 30 years of my adult life learning how to think and the last 5 years learning how to stop thinking!
Like many/most people I believed that if only I could master this mental skill or that skill I could change my life.
If only I could always stay positive, exercise enough faith, do my affirmations etc I could crack it.
It took me at least 30 years – much soul-searching and a lot of suffering to discover that I needed to learn how to stop thinking – that my thinking mind is actually very limited - and why.
Why our thinking minds are so limited
There are 2 fundamental reasons
[1] We are walking around with the same hardware as our Paleolithic ancestors.
The art of thinking clearly starts with the sobering realisation that our brains are designed to enable us to survive and to reproduce.
As Nassim Taleb succinctly put it:
“Our minds are not quite designed to understand how the world works, but, rather, to get out of trouble rapidly and have progeny."
98% of our thinking is unconscious, automatic and impulsive.
This thinking uses our mammalian brain which is all about emotions and is driven by our reptilian brain which is focused on survival.
Professor William Irvine gives an overview of evolutionary psychology and the development of thinking systems in our brain:
[2] We are so susceptible to cognitive biases and what is known as "The Psychology of Human Misjudgment"
Here is a brief overview of some of the main causes of misjudgment
Some of the best ways of avoiding these pitfalls:
Why we find it so hard to stop thinking
There are 2 fundamental reasons:
1] The Thought Stream - Your Thinking Mind Runs On Autopilot
It is impossible to turn this mind off. It just is what it is and it does what it does.
It is constantly spewing out a stream of thoughts some connected and many seemingly unconnected.
2] Your Observing Mind Gets Fused With This Thought Stream
We make the mistake of the mistake of identifying with our thinking mind by saying "I am angry" rather than saying "I feel anger".
Most of our emotional and psychological stress happens because our Thinking Mind and our Observing Mind are fused.
Its All About These 2 Simple Things - Resources
How To Think - Thinking Skills - Focusing On HOW Not WHAT To Think
The Art Of Thinking Clearly - How To Do More Than Just Survive And Reproduce
The Human Brain Did Not Evolve For A Life Of Delayed Gratification
Cognitive DistortionsThe Psychology of Human Misjudgment
Can You Stop Thinking? Discover The Joy Of A Quiet Mind
Freeing Yourself From Your Mind
Next Article: 4 Big Reasons Why We Get Stuck
Return from "Its All About These 2 Simple Things" to: How To Change Your Life
LATEST ARTICLES
Reduce Digital Overthinking To Lower Your Constant Inner Noise
Why Constant Micro-Stimulation Increases Your Internal Noise. Modern digital life generates a level of mental activity that previous generations never had to deal with, and this is fundamentally why w…Pausing Before You Act - Make It a Meta-Habit
How A Tiny Moment Unlocks Clarity, Choice, And Self-Leadership. There is a moment in life so subtle you barely register it. A colleague questions your idea. A notification flashes. A moment of uncerta…How to Interrupt Emotional Spirals Using Thought-Awareness
The spiral is fueled by your mind believing the story your thoughts tell. No one sets out to be swept away by a surge of emotion. One second you’re handling life, and the next, your mind has broken in…Universal Awareness and the Machinery of Thought
You Can’t Control Thoughts - But You Can Learn To See Them. Why do our thoughts have so much power over us - and how do we reclaim clarity? The foundation of thought-awareness is the ability to see yo…Rewiring Your Autopilot – How To Harness Your Subconscious Mind
How to harness your subconscious mind and move from passenger to pilot. The case for rewiring your autopilot is that most of what drives your thoughts, reactions, and decisions happens below your cons…Why You Need To Be Intimate With Your Own Thinking
How self-awareness and insight transforms delusion into wisdom. We live inside an invisible weather system - one made not of clouds and wind, but of thoughts - and this invisibilty is why you need to…The Illusion of Closeness in Always-On Relationships
Closeness that cannot survive absence was never intimacy - only constant stimulation mistaken for connection. We live inside an unprecedented experiment in human connection. For the first time in hist…Why Approval Feels Like Safety And Distance Feels Like Danger
Safety is not found in being approved - it appears when approval is no longer required. When approval feels like safety, connection stops being something we enjoy and quietly becomes something we rely…You Do Not Need Better Boundaries - You Need Clearer Thought
What no longer feels like your responsibility no longer crosses your boundaries. This article explains why you don’t need better boundaries - you need clearer thought - how modern life systematically…When Relationships Become Identity - Self-Worth is Based On Connection
Much of our relationship suffering comes from a subtle cognitive shift in which relationships become fused with identity. When relationships become identity, connection is no longer simply experienced…How Digital Communication Fuels Relationship Anxiety
Micro-Signals, Macro-Meaning. Modern relationships based on digital communication do not usually break down because of betrayal, cruelty, or lack of care. They fracture under the weight of interpretat…Why Absence Feels Like Rejection - Thought Patterns in Relationships
The mind doesn’t just experience absence. It interprets absence. You send a message. It’s casual. Nothing heavy. Maybe a question, maybe a light comment. Normally you’d get a reply within an hour or t…