The Wise Advocate

Helping You Achieve The Very Best Outcome

What Is The Wise Advocate?

When we talk of 'The Wise Advocate' its easy to think of the consigliere in 'The Godfather' or 'The Sopranos' or similar dramas based around mafia bosses. 

In fact we all have such a counsellor - but with a more benign intent -  and it is an aspect of our attentive mind.

This is a mental facility that has been known about and used by wise leaders and a minority of lay people throughout history.

Neurologically, this is your brain’s “higher-order control and compassion network”, mainly prefrontal regions working together with emotion-regulating circuits to give you a calm, nurturing inner guide.

This is not a pre-programmed entity but a dynamic and adaptive capability that emerges as the brain's complex system learns to integrate and regulate various cognitive functions like self-reflection, inhibitory control, and perspective-taking. to achieve transformational outcomes.

You may not be aware of it but it is always there

This is the voice within, the mind-oriented, dispassionate perspective of a clear-minded observer, helping you see yourself and your actions as others might see them. This inner voice may not be obvious to everyone, but it is always there.

You experience it is as an inner presence that is available to you whenever you activate it and tune into it. 

This voice is not just concerned with what is good for you, but also what is good from you. 

Qualities of The Wise Advocate

• Meta-awareness - It watches your thoughts and emotions from a higher vantage point, allowing you to notice reactive patterns without getting caught in them.
• Long-term perspective - It weighs future consequences and broader goals instead of being driven solely by immediate gratification.
• Compassion and clarity - It often speaks with a calm, guiding voice that encourages understanding, self-compassion, and fairness toward others.
• Integration of intuition and reason - It blends analytical thinking with gut feelings, making decisions that feel “deeply right,” not just rational.
• Ethical guidance - This aspect helps you stay true to your moral compass, particularly under stress or when facing complex choices.

You can think of it as your mindful inner coach that emerges when you’re fully attentive and self-aware.

It's similar to how in mindfulness practice there’s a part of your mind that simply knows when you’re off balance, and gently redirects you toward wisdom and presence.

A life changer

Learning how to activate and engage with this part of you is probably one of the most important thinking skills you can acquire to make the best decisions for yourself, all those you love and care about and all those you lead. 

The Wise Advocate is the focal point of all the hundreds of articles I have written and posted on this site over the past 10 years, this is where thinking skills and the practice of mindfulness all come together. I feel that is the most important and practical subject I have written about to date.  This one really is a life changer!

It addresses three key questions:

1. How do I figure out the right right decision to make?
2. How do I position myself so that decision achieves the given objective? 
3. How do I develop the habit of making better choices, time and time again, especially in situations of uncertainty and complexity? 

At the moment when you make your choice, certain things take place in your mind and brain that will help you to make the best decisions that will transcend your limits and enable you to become your best self. 

This is all about:

1. How you prioritize: what, when, and where you focus your attention to resolve the given issues.
2. How you consciously choose to take the high road and make choices and decisions that are transformative rather than merely transactional.

Filters out deceptive messages from your primal brain

This voice identifies and filters all deceptive brain messages that frequently arise from your primal brain and labels them for what they are. These messages are always negative and usually overstate the perceived threat

Unfiltered, these anxious feelings of impending danger (especially those related to the experience of past threats) can activate such intensity of emotional overwhelm that they override all other thinking and response. This is known as  “amygdala hijack.”

Speaks with the voice of your personal belief system

The wise advocate integrates seamlessly with your personal ethics and values, and your own personal spiritual and philosophical beliefs and practices. It will always communicate with you using the language and symbolism of your own beliefs.

For example, for the Buddhist it will express itself from the perspective of the Buddhamind, for the Christian this will be voice of the Holy Spirit, for the atheist it will be expressed in humanist terms and so on.

The experience of this voice has been described as that of a wise, benevolent friend. The tone is warm, supportive and compassionate.

The more you engage with it the stronger it gets

This voice develops and improves via self-directed neuroplasticity, meaning that repeated focused attention and mental practice strengthens specific neural pathways, leading to the enhanced development of this capacity.

A further effect of this is that you rewire your brain to bypass the default transaction based thinking, instead you respond using this transformative facility.

100% science based - no fluff!

If you are reading all this with scepticism and maybe some cynicism, let me assure you that what we are talking about it here is not some warm, fuzzy, feel-good, new-age woo-woo vibe, this has a solid scientifically verifiable neurological foundation. This is very real.

The term "The Wise Advocate" was originated by Dr Jeffery Schwartz an American psychiatrist, neuroscientist and researcher in the field of neuroplasticity and its application to obsessive-compulsive disorder. He set out a 4 step process for rewiring your brain to deal with negative thoughts and bad mental habits in You Are Not Your Brain.

I have used and applied this material over several years and it has transformed my thinking and whole approach to life. 

How Does The Wise Advocate Work?

Before we get into the mechanics of how to use this facility it is helpful for you understand a little of how it works. This will then make it easier for you to use it.

Here is an overview of what is covered:

The Choice

[A] The Low Road

• The Reactive Self-Referencing Center
• The Warning Center
• The Habit Center

[B] The High Road

• The Deliberative Self-Referencing Center
• The Warning Center
• Executive Function

If you want to skip the explanation and move straight to the action points you can do that on the link below:

How To Activate And Engage With The Wise Advocate

Please Note:

1. All of the material in this section is sourced and adapted from the article The Neuroscience Of Strategic Leadership by Dr Jeffery Schwartz, Art Kleiner. and Josie Thomson.
2. All graphics are from a presentation by Art Kleiner of Wise Advocate Enterprises. 
3. If you click on any of these graphics it will open a full screen version in another tab. [Much easier to read!]

The Choice

In situations where a decision is required as to what action to take, you are likely to focus your attention in one of two basic ways.

We call one pattern of mental activity the Low Road, because it favours expedient actions aimed at giving you what you want and giving others what they want, as rapidly and efficiently as possible.

The other pattern, the High Road, shows itself as the mental construct we call The Wise Advocate. This is the voice within your mind that makes the case for solutions with longer-term and broader benefits.

The Low Road is transactional, the High Road is strategic.

• Because they link mental activity and brain circuits, both the High Road and the Low Road are habit forming.
• Initially the Low Road is more comfortable and the High Road is most definitely a road less traveled.

The repeated pattern of how you think rewires your brain.

• As you make choices that favour the High Road in your mind, those choices strengthen the related circuits in your brain.
• This makes it easier to stay on the High Road, and gives you greater capacity for making strategic decisions.
• You choose where you focus your attention and over time, your mental choices, will affect the physical makeup of your brain. 
• This process is called self-directed neuroplasticity.

[A] The Low Road

The Low Road is the pattern of mental activity, and the related brain circuits, involved in meeting life's challenges in an expedient way.

When you make deals, design rewards and incentives, or think about satisfying your needs or the needs of others, you are on the Low Road.

This activity often elicits powerful emotions, such as desire, anxiety, fear, frustration, elation, and relief.

In everyday life, most of us occupy the Low Road most of the time.

The Low Road connects three major functions of the brain.

[1] The Reactive Self-Referencing Center

This brain function is associated with the ventral medial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC) and it has been labelled The Reactive Self Referencing Center because it is activated when there are thought processes or sensory stimuli that are mainly related to your self.

The focus of brain function is transactional and it is concerned with what is valuable and relevant, for example:

• What’s in it or me?
• How much is it worth?
• How can I get this job or close this deal?
• What might others want?

The Reactive Self-Referencing Center accounts for 50% of the overall Self-Referencing Center, the other 50%  is labelled the Deliberative Self-Referencing Center, and this relates to the High Road.

The overall Self-Referencing Center is involved in many aspects of your personality and identity, especially:

• How you perceive yourself and relate to others.
• Your inner self talk - the voice inside your mind - that expresses what you think about other people, your hopes and fears, your dreams about your future.
• How you interpret your experiences.

Me, myself and I.

Low Road self talk is all about you! 

[2] The Warning Center

This is a collective label for three parts of the brain: the amygdala, the insula, and the orbital frontal cortex.

The Warning Center creates feelings of fear and anxiety, and the instinctive gut-level sense that someone or something is worth getting involved with or steering clear of.

• Anxious feelings of impending danger can activate The Warning  Center with such intensity that it overrides all other thinking and response.
• This is especially true when related to the experience of past threats.
• Amygdala hijack will cause you to rush, make unfounded assumptions followed by poor choices - all resulting in bad, and often expensive, consequences.

Does this sound familiar?

[3] The Habit Center

This brain function is associated with the basal ganglia and is popularly referred to as the 'lizard brain'.

The Habit Center runs your basic behaviours that don’t require conscious attention as they have become habits through constant repetition, for example:  closing the door and then locking it, driving your car, brushing your teeth etc.

The low road is where deceptive brain messages come from.

All-or-nothing thinking.

• If I don't do it then who will?
• I am the sole bread winner, its all down to me.

The end justifies the means.

• I will do whatever it takes to ensure my family's survival.
• Its OK to cheat, cut corners and abuse trust... 
• He'll never know, she will never find out..

Be honest, how many times have you said this to yourself!?

[B] The High Road

The Wise Advocate is the voice within your mind that is oriented to the overall long-term value and well being of everyone who will be impacted by your decision.

• This voice speaks from the clear minded perspective of a dispassionate third party observer.
• It gives you a view of yourself and your actions as others may see them over the longer term. 
• This is the holistic view that will lead to the best outcome for all involved over the long term.
• This is the voice of strategic thinking.
• This is also the voice of a leader. 

The Wise Advocate is activated when you stop looking for the most expedient outcome or stop trying to make everyone happy.

The High Road connects three major centers of the mind and their associated brain regions.

[1] The Deliberative Self-Referencing Center

This is associated with the dorsal [upper] medial prefrontal cortex [dmPFC], a brain region above the ventral [lower] medial prefrontal cortex [vmPFC].

As noted above, The Deliberative Self-Referencing Center is activated by consideration of what others maybe thinking and evaluations of what future actions they might perform. For example:

• What is she/he thinking?
• What will they do next? 

As per the Low Road, The Deliberative Self-Referencing Center is  involved in many aspects of your personality and identity, especially:

• How you perceive yourself and relate to others.
• Your inner self talk - the voice inside your mind - that expresses what you think about other people, your hopes and fears, your dreams about your future.
• How you interpret your experiences.

The difference here is how you filter and interpret these inputs. 

Two mental activities evoke the High Road.

Both the Low Road and the High Road are goal oriented and they may seem similar, but there are two practices that makes all the difference to your capacity to activate and engage with The Wise Advocate and these are the practice of:

1. Mentalizing
2. Mindfulness

# Mentalizing 

Mentalizing involves you thinking about people more dispassionately and objectively, for example:

• Trying to figure them out - rather like they were characters in a novel or film. 
• What makes them tick?
• What will they do next?
• What are they really thinking about, and why?

This mental activity activates the Deliberative Self-Referencing Center in the High Road circuit.

Mentalizing becomes even more important  as your level of responsibility increases. But it also requires the other necessary practice of mindfulness.

# Mindfulness

Millions of people have been exposed to this basic practice in the context of meditation. 

As you practise mindfulness regularly, you develop new and enhanced cognitive skills:

• You gain an enhanced awareness of the thoughts and emotions moving through your mind. 
• This practice also induces self-directed neuroplasticity; it changes your brain.
• It enhances the connection between the Executive Center [which we will discuss below] and the emotion-based Warning Center
• It enhances your ability to disengage from Low Road thoughts and feelings, and in so doing it strengthen the High Road thoughts.

When you combine both practices of mindfulness and mentalizing you begin to mentalize about yourself as you develop enhanced self-awareness

• What am I likely to do?
• What am I really about?
• Why am I thinking this way?

[2] The Warning Center

As with the Low Road, The Warning Centre is a collective label for three parts of the brain: the amygdala, the insula, and the orbital frontal cortex.

It creates feelings of fear and anxiety, and other associated emotions. However the practice of mindfulness provides a healthy gap between the emotions arising and your chosen response, i.e. your response is chosen is and not just an automatic impulsive "knee jerk" reaction.

[3] Executive Function

This third function on the High Road - referred to as the Executive Center - associated with the lateral prefrontal cortex.

The 3 functions of The Executive Function are;

[a] Working memory

• This is the ability to keep information accessible so your conscious attention can work with it. 
• It's a mental workspace that allows us to keep information active in our minds, enabling us to think, learn, and solve problems effectively

[b] Inhibitory control

• This is the ability to suppress inappropriate actions, thoughts, or emotions in favor of more suitable ones. 
• It allows us to resist impulses, manage distractions, and adjust our behavior to achieve goals.
• The practice of mindfulness can help improve inhibitory control.

[c] Cognitive flexibility

• This enables us to adapt our thinking and behavior in response to changing circumstances or new information.
• It allows for smooth transitions between tasks, thoughts, and situations, and is essential for problem-solving and adapting to new rules or environments

• Using mental models and developing thinking skills can significantly improve cognitive flexibility, a key aspect of executive function in the brain. 

Overview Of The Wise Advocate

How To Activate And Engage With The Wise Advocate

Accessing and engaging with The Wise Advocate is a transformative process and it can change your life. 

I was talking with a friend recently. Let's call her Susan.

She was widowed at at an early age and is a single parent.

Susan has been through some very difficult times over the past 10-15 years regarding work [and the lack of it], lack of money, health issues, family issues, relationship issues, and the sheer hassle of living in a developing country.

She was sharing how toxic and overwhelming her thoughts and feelings can be sometimes, and she said: "I need a new brain!"

"Well Susan, here is how to have a new brain!"

I am writing these guidelines for you, and sharing them here with any reader who also really wants to make these changes and, over time, transform their life.

There are two keys to making this work:

1. You have really got to want to do this - I say this because many of people say they want to change but deep down you are very attached to the suffering part of yourself - it has become a significant part of your identity. So Susan - do you really truly want to change?
2. These simple practices have to become a daily habit - it takes about 3-4 weeks of serious conscious effort to create these habits. Are you prepared to make the efffort?  If you do, these practices will soon becomes second nature and they will counter balance your impulsive and toxic thoughts. You then have a choice: "Do I take the high road or continue on the low road?"

1. Daily Mindfulness Practice

Regular mindfulness meditation is essential as it builds non-reactive awarenes and enhances your cognitive powers.

Susan, let the stillness speak!

Resources:

1. Mindfulness Meditation Technique - Getting The Hang Of The Basics
2. When You Are You In A Mess And It's Tough - Do This Now!
3. How To Trust The Process Of Mindfulness - Right Now
4. Freeing Yourself From Your Mind - 6 Key Practices From Eckhart Tolle
5. How To Let Stillness Speak - Supporting Practices 
6. Guided Mindfulness Meditations

Key Tip: 

Create a Space Between Stimulus and Response

When you get hit by an event that triggers you, for example:

• The landlady has put up the rent
• Your daughter's school fees have increased. 
• Some much needed money hasn't cleared at the bank yet.  
• One of your toxic relatives is publicly criticising you again. 

Pause and take one slow breath before reacting and avoid the amigdala hijack. You can also use resource 2 above.

Why? 

Between stimulus and response these is a space. In that space is your power to choose your response.

This pause activates your Wise Advocate, giving it time to assess and make suggestions.

Instead of letting your automatic impulses take over and unleashing a torrent of toxic thoughts and feelings, you have the choice to take the High Road and choose growth and freedom.

2. Daily Practice Of Deep Acceptance & Compassionate Self-Talk

Here's how to have freedom from the tyranny of your thoughts and emotional responses to the events and circumstances of your life:

Don't hold onto your negative feelings when they arise. Keep them on a very short lead by turning towards them and accepting them as fast as you can.

The power of this acceptance is the instant freedom that it gives you.

Resource:

• The Transforming Power Of Acceptance - I Accept What I Am Feeling

Key Tip: 

• Don't think about it just do it - Susan, dont question the process, just do it as it is set out on that link, and just do it fast and do it now. 
• Drop the story -  Susan, most of the stuff you tell yourself is, at best a guess, and at worst, complete rubbish. Learning how to drop the story and replace toxic self criticism is another game changer.

Additonal Resource:

• Drop The Story - Deal With Your Demons and Transform Your Life

Your Wise Advocate doesn’t scold - it guides you with compassion and kindness, which supports your long-term change.

3. Talk With Your Wise Advocate Every Day

Okay this is where things get interesting.

In the introduction to this article I said that the wise advocate integrates seamlessly with your personal ethics and values, and your own personal spiritual and philosophical beliefs and practices.

I also said that it will always communicate with you using the language and symbolism of your own beliefs.

For example, for the Buddhist it will express itself from the perspective of the Buddhamind, for the Christian this will be voice of the Holy Spirit, for the atheist it will expressed in humanist terms and so on.

Susan I know that you are a spiritual woman, raised in the Christian tradition and also an occasional practitioner of mindfulness meditation so I am going to frame what I say now from that perspective. 

For the reader who is not a practitioner or devotee of a faith tradition this idea of prayer will likely not resonate and possibly provoke a negative reaction, so think of this as a form of self talk with a higher part of yourself - however you choose to define that.

Buddhist teacher Zuisei Goddard expresses this rather well:

"Often, prayer is associated with a god or gods, as an act of worship, reverence, supplication. I think of it more broadly and more simply as being in relationship with ourselves...

So, praying, to me, is to be in relationship with a deeper, larger, more connected, more integral part of our being."

Resource:

A few months ago I wrote an artice called: "The Greatest Love - The Most Important Relationship You Will Ever Have".

In the resource link I am showing below, which is taken from that article, substitute the word "Consciousness" for the phrase "The Wise Advocate":

• The Wise Advocate - Relationship Guidelines

Key Tip:

• When facing a decision, silently just ask: "Please help me?" “What would the wisest course of action?”  “What choice aligns with my deeper values?”

Additional Resource:

• How To Wake Up - Just Ask

The experience of the Wise Advocate voice has been described as that of a wise, benevolent friend. The tone is warm, supportive and compassionate.

4. Align The Wise Advocate With Your Core Values - Daily Reminder

Susan have you ever asked yourself: "What is my life purpose?"

If you choose to take the high road - this question goes far beyond the day-to-day grind of trying to survive.

It is one of the most powerful forces in your life and has a major bearing on how your wise advocate functions.

So Susan, what is your answer to this question? It cuts straight to the heart of who you are and why you are here.

Write down your answer and your top 3 guiding values .

Resource:

• What Is My Life Purpose? What Is The Meaning Of Life?

Key Tip:

If you knew you were going to die tonight and you were given a few minutes to reflect before that happened, what would you say was the meaning of your life?

• What difference will you make? What impact will you leave in the lives of others?

Your Wise Advocate becomes stronger when it has a clear compass to work with during moments of uncertainty.

5. Develop Your Thinking Skills - Practice Daily

Susan a large part of the difference between the experienced decision maker who makes wise choices and the novice who tends to be driven by...

• Guesswork
• What someone else has told them
• Impulse
• Amygdala hijack

...isn't to do with intangibles like “judgment” or “intuition” it's that these people have made it their business to learn how to think.

One of the key thinking skills that activates the Wise Advocate is what psychologists call "Mentalizing".

Mentalizing is the mental capacity:

• To understand how other people may be impacted by a decision you are making.
• To figure out how they may respond to your decision.
• To consider what the longer term effect on your relationships  with these people might be as a result of your decision.

It also involves taking the wider view at what's going on behind the scenes, what's driving this situation. So in the case of going for an interview for a job:

• Why is this job available?
• What is the employer really looking for?
• What's their track record as an employer

It can also mean considering what's happening in the background - all the moving parts that have the created the situation that you observe. Typical questions can be:

• What are the seen and unseen factors that are influencing this situation?
• How are these parts connected?
• How do they interact?

Key Tip:

The fact that you may well not be able to answer these questions doesn't matter, what does matter is that it sends a powerful signal to your wise advocate to engage. 

Resources:

• Learn how to think.
• Master some of the basic mental models.
• Get to grips with second order thinking.

Developing your thinking skills can significantly improve cognitive flexibility, a key aspect of executive function in the brain and a key aspect of The Wise Advocate.

In conclusion

Susan, these are the key things you need to understand and put into practice over the next 3-4 weeks.

There is a huge amount of resource on this site, so use the site map and the "Site Search" tool on that page.

And as always, keep in touch and feel free to ask questions, I will do all I can to support you. 

Stephen

Download:

The Wise Advocate - Daily Checklist

How to feel the nurturing quality of The Wise Advocate

Return from: "The Wise Advocate" to: Walking The Talk

Next Article:

How To Trust The Process Of Mindfulness - Right Now

Contact me