The meditation group sat respectfully on their stools and mats and listened as the visiting monk quietly intoned the words of the revered zen master Thich Nhat Hanh on how to wake up:
"I have arrived. I am home.
In the here. In the now.
I am solid. I am free.
In the ultimate I dwell."
He then led us through a series of mindfulness practises starting with sitting meditation and ending with mindful walking.
The session closed with these words from our zen master:
"Make the present moment, the here and the now, into your true home. That is the only home that we have."
Later that day a group of us were sitting around relaxing and chatting about different things and one lady, an experienced practitioner, said something that has stayed with me over all of the 20 years since that meditation retreat, and it was this:
"One day in twenty thousand lifetimes when I eventually reach enlightenment..."
As I reflected on the day I realised that despite the power and the simplicity of the teachings from our zen master, and the hours of mindfulness practice, what this lady expressed was something that affects so many of us who are on the spiritual path.
We are surrounded by teachings, articles, meditation groups and teachers, and zen masters - and yet despite all this, when it comes down to it, we really don't know how to wake up.
We are seeking truth, seeking enlightenment, seeking nirvana, and yet we remain:
There is something in human nature - a desire to glamorise, sanctify, objectify and idolise – that elevates people who have offered deep insights to the human race and thus put distance between them and the rest of us.
But these great ones have exactly the same psychological, emotional, and physiological constitution as the rest of us. To put it bluntly – we all share the same basic equipment.
If one can do it so can we all.
There is nothing magical, mystical or mysterious about waking up we’re actually having glimpses of enlightenment all the time.
Enlightenment - waking up - means:
This is also sometimes referred to as a "Unity Consciousness".
The focus of this article is to offer 4 simple practices to show you how to wake up and to live like this now.
But first let's take a look at the two big stumbling blocks of being "stuck in seeking" and "attached to attainment".
Being stuck in seeking is the single biggest stumbling block to waking up.
I have known, watched and observed numerous sincere and committed people in the Buddhist and Christian traditions [which I am most familiar with] stay "stuck in seeking".
It is often the most sincere, the most devout, the most dedicated who are the most stuck in seeking – in many cases almost as a badge of honour [and I say this respectfully and lovingly] – seeking truth, seeking God, seeking enlightenment, seeking nirvana, seeking deeper spiritual understanding and growth.
I have seen and heard many experienced and dedicated meditators [like that lady] talk about enlightenment as something to be achieved in the future, I have seen and heard many devout Christians seek God as anywhere but here now inside themselves.
The same applies to the many of us who would not view ourselves as on a spiritual quest but are nevertheless seeking self-improvement and self-development.
Why We Are Stuck In Seeking?
The most fundamental reason why we remain stuck in seeking is because of the delusion that waking up - enlightenment – is something we have to work towards.
It is always over there – up there – out there – ahead of me – away from me – in the future – separate from me - anywhere in fact but here now.
In common with all delusions this delusion is ego based.
I have to do something, I have to work towards something, if I keep doing enough of this I will one day reach enlightenment.
As a result, this being stuck in seeking delusion becomes the single biggest stumbling block to present moment awareness.
The Stink Of Zen
The other major delusion that most of us get caught up and lost in is our delusion about enlightenment. This is sometimes called "The Stink Of Zen".
We get attached and fixated on the attainment of our idea of enlightenment. We get seduced by the temples, the rituals, the iconography, the buddha - the sheer glamour of it all.
We want to get our greasy hands on this shiny thing we call enlightenment.
Various schools of buddhism will tell you that there are different levels of enlightenment and that may or may not be true - but it really doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter because in talking about these states and focusing on these states they become objects of attainment and thus a delusion.
Former American Zen Master Dennis Merzel aka Genpo Roshi (creator of the "Big Mind" process) expresses all this rather well.
However you slice and dice it the enlightenment state is just that - a state, an experience of unity consciousness.
These experiences are not just for the privileged few, the gurus and zen masters, they are common and occur spontaneously.
Any experience of enlightenment is a wonderful thing but of itself is of little to no use to anyone other than the person experiencing it.
If you think of other transcendent experiences that we can enjoy in many other areas of life, they are wonderful and our lives are enhanced by them, but we can not live in those states all the time.
We have to come back "down to earth" and engage in the world of duality as we experience it with the rest of the human race.
Buddhist literature is full of reasons why it's a good thing to wake up and it all boils down to illusion, impermanence, suffering and the apparent pointlessness of life.
If we strip this down further, the fundamental root of the problem of life is our attachment to and identification with our ever-changing thought-stream.
We confuse the “world as-it-is-thought-about” with the “world as-it-is”.
Every problem we have is because we think we know.
We turn our past experiences into future expectations.
We cling to emotional storylines that distort our reality.
We accumulate judgments, opinions, and biases that warp our views of people and things.
We read and absorb written teachings, we watch videos and listen to podcasts, we attend meditation classes and we think we know. But we do not know.
We are caught and trapped in a world of illusion and yet...
If everything is an illusion, then nothing matters, yet how does that square with deep loss, pain, grief, or trauma in your life?
So the insights of the Buddhist understanding of life tell us that it is all an illusion, but we are emotional beings and we feel our pain deeply and those emotions are very real.
We can summarise this confusion as:
Everything is illusion and everything matters.
As it says in the Tao Te Ching: "True words seem paradoxical."
On the one hand everything is interconnected and a part of a one-ness or non-duality and there is no separation.
Yet
despite this innate one-ness or unity - or more accurately at the heart
of it - there is a separation, there are 2 sides to absolutely everything, the yin and the
yang.
Yet whilst these 2 sides are opposite to each other they are dependent on each other.
For example: there can no up without down, light without darkness, male without female, expansion without contraction, wealth without poverty or good without bad.
Deep loss, pain, grief, and
trauma are an inherent part of this paradox.
This paradox exists within us - on one hand we can experience the one-ness and unity of the enlightened mind, and on the other hand we have the intellectual capacity for exercising a wide range of thinking skills in the everyday world of duality, and as emotional beings we feel deeply.
The key to living with this paradox is balance.
This is all about achieving a balance between the harmony and peace of the inner world of present moment awareness with the requirements of surviving and functioning effectively in the outer world of duality.
The balanced life
is one where you recognise the full spectrum of possible responses and
choose the most appropriate one for the situation you find yourself in.
This
balance occurs when:
After he discovered how to wake up Buddha still walked on muddy ground. He was a human being on earth, doing human things and feeling human feelings. Ignoring nothing, avoiding nothing, resisting nothing.
A villager once asked Buddha:
"How is that you and your monks all do all the things we do, you walk, you sleep, you eat, you chop wood, all the same as we do?
Buddha replied:
"Yes it is true that we walk, we sleep, we eat, we chop wood, the difference is that we know we do."
This is where we pull it all together and based on my own experiences I want to share four practices that I use that I have found to be transformative in my experience of how to wake up.
There is nothing magical, mysterious or esoteric here, just four recommendations for practical steps that you can take to free yourself from the effects of your mind.
These four steps are: rest, ask, accept and practice.
[1] Rest
This practice is so obvious that it has taken me about 20 years to realise its importance and benefit!
In the western world we lead such busy lives that allow little to no time to rest our minds.
Shortly before he died, zen master Thich Nhat Hanh wrote a wonderful article called Rest In The River in which he explains how important rest is as a practice
This really resonates with me. I am by nature a restless person and I have found this practice very helpful.
It creates a beneficial setting for the sitting mindfulness practice.
One of the many things I like about
Thich Nhat Hanh's teaching and practices is that they are so very practical and simple to understand.
I share a summmary of extracts here in his own words:
Recommended Reading:
Can You Stop Thinking - Discover The Joy Of A Quiet Mind
How To Practise Mindfulness - Be Humble And Just Do This Simple Thing
[2] Ask
"Phone A Friend" was one of the "lifelines" available to contestants on The British created TV show "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire".
Given the amounts of money involved, a lot was riding on getting the right answer each time, so these lifelines were important in helping the contestants to make the right decision when they didn't know the answer.
You have such a lifeline and its called prayer. What I am sharing is not in the Buddhist playbook so if the idea of a prayer seems alien to you reframe this as an intention.
I struggled with this practice for years until I came to understand it in a way that works for me
In the recommended reading below I have listed several articles which look more deeply at the mind, the many selves we have within us, a reframing of the idea of prayer, and a good look at the whole idea of a higher self and what this means in practice.
But right now, my sole point is to recommend the power of asking for help in your mindfulness practice and also for help in anything that is troubling you or that you are trying to resolve, anything that is causing you to not be present right now.
Asking for help makes it easier to let it go and let your mind rest.
The focus of your request can be whatever you feel comfortable with such as your higher self, the universe, the buddha mind within you - it really doesn't matter.
What does matter is your intention and the spirit in which you ask, and I recommend an attitude of humility.
Say it, pray it and forget it. The answer will always come.
Recommended Reading:
Your Higher Self - Your Hardwired Portal To The Universe
Self Dialogue - Dealing With Your Many Selves
It Isn't The Process Of Prayer That’s The Problem, It’s The Way It’s Framed
3. Accept
This one word describes one simple teaching and one powerful practice.
That word is acceptance.
The power of acceptance is the freedom that it gives you.
Freedom from the tyranny of your thoughts and emotional responses to the events and circumstances of your life.
The transforming power of acceptance is that it:
Acceptance is the foundation stone upon which all personal change is built.
I have found this practice very helpful. In the article listed below I have set out how to do this practice. It works.
Recommended Reading:
The Transformative Power Of Acceptance
4. Practice
The key to how to wake up is practice.
The fundamental practice is the practice of mindfulness or present moment awareness.
You can think of this as a learned competence.
Mindfulness is a natural state
Have you ever woken up in the morning in a lucid awakening state and for a few seconds not known where you are or what day it is or what you’re doing that day?
Just a momentary blankness – your mind feeling like a clean slate – and then whoosh in come the thoughts – a bit like pulling a big thick jumper over your head and then with a jolt everything is "normal" again.
High risk activities create intense present moment awareness
Whenever you climb a steep ladder – or a rock-face – or drive a car at speed or engage in any physical activity where there is some degree of danger – have you noticed afterwards how you became oblivious to everything except your 100% concentration totally in the present moment?
Devoid of thought after intense concentration
Or perhaps at a more sedate level, can you recall how you feel for a few seconds after you have ceased to be engaged in any all encompassing activity that has absorbed your 100% attention – that clear feeling devoid of thought.
Being in nature and places of beauty encourages mindful states
Maybe it’s happened when you have been out in the open air in a wild, remote or natural setting and you have become completely still and at been aware of feeling at one with the beauty, wildness and splendour.
Glimpses of enlightenment
These are all normal, "everyday" type experiences where we are
unaffected by our thoughts and where we are totally present. These are
naturally occurring states of mindfulness or present moment awareness.
In that state of present moment awareness, time does stand still – or we cease to be aware of it, the usual sense of separation and duality does weaken or disappear, insights occur more frequently and intuition and creativity become stronger.
There are two approaches to developing the competence of present moment awareness and they are of equal importance.
[1] Formal Meditation Practice
As with any learned competence you need to progress through the 4 stages of learning and move through the conscious competence learning cycle until the practice of present moment awareness becomes an unconscious competence.
There are a great many articles on this website on the practice of mindfulness and a good place to start is How To Practice Mindfulness.
[2] Informal meditation
Developing the capacity to be wholly present in a wide range of daily situations is the best way of integrating your formal meditation practice into your eveyday life.
You can train yourself to consciously find opportunities in everyday life to practice mindfulness and bring yourself back to the present moment.
You can make activities such as walking, taking a shower, washing dishes, or talking to others, listening to someone else, eating, as an opportunity for practicing present moment awareness.
As your competence grows, you learn how to wake up, it becomes an unconcious competence and it becomes a habit.
You develop the capacity to just stop thinking, to be free of the effects of your mind, to have a quiet mind and to be fully present in the moment.
Recommended Reading:
Mindfulness Exercises - The practise of living mindfully
Practising Mindfulness In Daily Life
Mindful Listening Beyond The Spoken Words, How To Listen Actively
Mind Games & How To Free Yourself From Them A Day In The Life Of Me
Return from "How To Wake Up" to: What Is Spirituality?
- What if everything we think…
LATEST ARTICLES
Everything Is Connected And Why You Don't Feel It
...And Why It Matters
As human beings we are skating on very thin ice with our sense of self and certainty about "how things are" and what we like to think of as reality:
Who Is In Charge Of Your Brain?
How Not To Be Stupid. Who is in charge of your brain? This is not a silly questions. It matters because the outcomes that you experience in your life are determined by how you respond to the events th…
How To Be A Winner On A Very Large Scale
The Incredible Benefits Of Selective Attention. This is not a typical article about how to be a winner. We are not going to talk about goal setting, the importance of habits, the power of focus and al…
The Metagame Approach To Life
How To Achieve Your Biggest Objectives.
The metagame approach to life is all about winning and achieving your biggest objectives by:
- Understanding the bigger picture
- Being better by doing things d…Shantideva - The Way Of The Bodhisattva
Walking The Path Of Compassion. Shantideva the 8th century Indian Buddhist sage is famous for his treatise "The Way of the Bodhisattva" delivered as an extended teaching to the monks of Nalanda monast…
Reframing History - Deconstruction And Discussion Not Destruction
History is always about context, not imposing our own moral values on the past. For those of us fortunate enough to live within western democracies, we are living in an age where a vociferous and into…
Tao Te Ching - Connecting To Your True Source Of Power.
How To Be Lived By The Tao. The Tao Te Ching is one of those books that many people read, few understand, and even fewer put into practice. The only way to know the Tao is to experience it, and it is…
How Things Really Are - The Inbuilt Design Flaws
Chaos, Disorder And Decay Is The Natural Order Of Things. Nobody has the perfect life. We all struggle and strive to attain health, wealth and personal happiness. Yet these three big areas: our health…
Intuition Or Anxiety - Are There Angels Or Devils Crawling Here?
How To Tell The Difference Between Intuition and Anxiety. How do you know whether the voice of your intuition is real or just the product of your inner anxiety? Several months ago I was having a drink…
What Is Truth - How To Tell A Partial Truth From The Whole Truth?
How the truth and nothing but the truth is often not the whole truth. My great aunty Flo broke her arm and died. It is true that she broke her arm in 1923. It is also true that she died in 1949. But t…
Duality And Life Beyond Your Thinking Mind
Duality and life beyond your thinking mind focuses on the limitations of time, foreground and background, duality and "stuckness". The first aspect of duality and life beyond your thinking mind focuse…
The Conscious Mind Is Limited - Be Aware And Be Prepared
Being aware is the first stage of being prepared. The conscious mind is limited in so many ways. There are some who would argue that there is no such thing as conscious thought and that it is represen…
Your Inner Map Of Reality - Here's Why You Think The Way You Do
The big picture of how your inner map of reality creates your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours. Your inner map of reality is based on the filters of your own ethnic, national, social, family and rel…
The Failure Of Cancel Culture - Suppression Not Engagement
Why we need to wear our beliefs lightly and develop negative capability. Throughout history people have campaigned to fight beliefs, ideologies, and injustices that they perceived to be oppressive, di…
4 Big Reasons Why We Get Stuck In Our Attempts At Personal Change
Most People Spend Their Entire Life Imprisoned Within The Confines Of Their Own Thoughts. This first of the 4 big reasons why we get stuck is, in my view, the most important. The "self-help industry…
How Do I Change And Why Is It So Hard?
We Would Rather Die Than Change, And We Usually Do In my experience, the vast majority of people who say they want to change don’t change. Most people reading this won’t change because they don’t real…
The Illusion Of A Separate Self - Windows 11 With Self Awareness!
Beyond the content of your mind you are so much more than you think you are. When we talk of "myself" this is the conventional way of referring to our self image which is in fact the ego's constructio…
Finite And Infinite Games - Dazed, Confused & Ultimately Transcendent
This is not an instruction manual, it is a wake up call!
Over this past week I have read Professor James Carse's highly regarded "Finite And Infinite Games - A Vision Of Life As Play And Possibility"…
The Gap And The Gain - How Your Brain Sabotages Your Happiness
How Your Lizard Brain Sabotages Your Happiness We are hardwired to measure our progress in any and all areas of life where we have goals and aspirations. We can't not do it. But what we measure and ho…
How To Wake Up - 4 Simple Practices To Help You Wake Up Now
So What Exactly Does It Mean to Wake Up - What Is "Enlightenment"? There is nothing magical, mystical or mysterious about waking up we’re actually having glimpses of enlightenment all the time. Enligh…
Situational Communication - Different Strokes For Different Folks
Situational communication is about taking account of 3 often ignored factors about the other person. You are a situational communicator when you recognise that effective communication is not an event…
How To Influence Without Authority - 6 Key Tips
The secret to how to influence without authority is that you get what you really want by giving other people what they really want. We live in an interconnected world and knowing how to influence with…
Change Questions To Change Your Outcomes
Asking The Right Questions Is Critical For A Successful Change. Every time we initiate a significant change - whether in our personal life or in an organisation - we will most likely over-estimate our…
Group Culture - The Invisible Software That Rules Your Life
Group culture is: "How we do things round here". We like to see ourselves as free agents making our own choices and living authentically but the reality is that The Matrix has many layers and we are u…
Why Getting From A to B Is Not Aways A Straight Line
In circumstances of significant change, the progress from A to B will not be in a straight line. We run our lives largely on auto-pilot. In most circumstances your experience of getting from A to B is…
The Art Of Persuasion Planning For Success - Here's How To Do It!
To be successful in the art of persuasion you must ensure that certain things happen. To be successful in the art of persuasion you must establish a framework of what has to happen to get you to that…
The Art Of Persuasion Advanced Communication Skills - Gaining Buyin
Create The Environment Where They Want To Buyin to Your Proposal In order to build the win-win you have to uncover what it is that the other person really wants or needs, and to do that you have to as…
The Art Of Persuasion The One Fundamental Principle - Create A Win-Win
The art of persuasion is based on the simple idea that you get what you want by enabling the other party to get what they want. Being a nice friendly person with good inter-personal skills may be a go…
Communication Persuasion And Change - Key Skills To Survive & Succeed
It's not the strongest that survive, nor the most intelligent, but those who are most responsive to change, the most persuasive, and the best communicators. We are living in an age of unprecedented ch…
The Eisenhower Box - What Is Important Is Seldom Urgent
What Is Important Is Seldom Urgent And What Is Urgent Is Seldom Important. The Eisenhower Box is a time management and decision-making model devised by President Dwight Eisenhower to help him prioriti…