In his 2024 Dartmouth Commencement Speech, tennis legend Roger Federer said that champions have learnt how to become a master at overcoming hard moments:
“Perfection is impossible. In the 1526 singles matches I played in my
career, I won almost 80% of those matches. Now, I have a question for
you.
What percentage of points do you think I won in those matches? Only 54%.
In
other words, even top-ranked tennis players win barely more than half
of the points they play. When you lose every second point on average,
you learn not to dwell on every shot.
You teach yourself to
think, okay, I double-faulted ... it's only a point. Okay, I came to the
net, then I got passed again; it's only a point. Even a great shot, an
overhead backhand smash that ends up on ESPN's top 10 playlist. That,
too, is just a point.
And here's why I'm telling you this. When
you're playing a point, it has to be the most important thing in the
world, and it is. But when it's behind you, it's behind you.
This mindset is really crucial because it frees you to fully commit to the next point and the next point after that, with intensity, clarity, and focus."
Peak performance is meditation in motion
This anecdote about Roger Federer has got a lot of coverage in social media and deservedly so. I am not very interested in tennis, but I have always taken great pleasure in watching him play in major tournaments.
There was a zen-like quality to his playing. His peak performance was meditation in motion.
But in common with each of the top players he had a remarkable capacity to focus on the shot in play and to put everything into that shot.
Then, regardless of the outcome of that shot, he put it behind him and played the next shot as if his life depended on it. As he said:
"The best in the world are not the best because they win every point. It's because they lose again and again and have learned how to deal with it."
Contexts
There are two contexts in which this can apply:
Task Specific Hard Moments
The foundation to this is a measure of control over your mind
To perform at a high level, you must diligently and consistently, focus on being present.
This is not a state you can just “turn on,” if you aren’t practicing it.
Your everyday life must reinforce how you hope to perform at the highest level.
“The secret is that everything is always on the line. The more present we are at practice, the more present we will be in competition, in the boardroom, at the exam, the operating table, the big stage.
If we have any hope of attaining excellence, let alone of showing what we’ve got under pressure, we have to be prepared by a lifestyle of reinforcement. Presence must be like breathing.” [Josh Waitzkin]
To become a master at overcoming hard moments when dealing with specific tasks in your working life and in your personal life you need to learn these 3 basic skills:
[1] Drop The Story
As Federer said, even the best players lose nearly half of their shots, it's just a fact of life so you need to get used to failure. Succeeding or failing at a task has no intrinsic meaning other than that which you choose to give it.
Train yourself to drop the story.
Example:
Early in my business career when I was a salesman I had to do a lot of cold calling to find new customers. The process of cold calling involves a lot of failure.
I trained myself to see every rejection as one step nearer a new customer. My average order value back then was $10,000 and it took approximately 50 cold calls to land a new client so I trained myself to see each cold call as earning me $200.
[2] Focus On Process, Rather Than Outcome
We
have an inbuilt, hardwired tendency to automatically attach to our
desired outcome which adds heavily to the weight of expectation.
We need to learn how to practice non-attachment by consciously setting aside our preferred outcome or goal - or indeed any outcome or goal - and just focusing on the processes involved in the task in hand.
A focus on process, rather than outcome, leads to better performance.
Learn how to practice non-attached mind
Example:
In business when I have an important meeting with a lot at stake, I have trained myself so that I just treat it as "just another meeting", and focus totally on the meeting itself, and put the outcome out of my mind.
[3] Have A Focused Mind Of Relaxed Alertness
Stay focused regardless of what has happened so far.
Example:
In archery, if you put intensity, focus and sincerity into the process—where you place our feet, how you hold the bow, how you breathe during the release of the arrow - then hitting the bullseye is simply a side effect.
As James Clear puts it:
"The point is not to worry about hitting the target. The point is to fall in love with the boredom of doing the work and embrace each piece of the process. The point is to take that moment of complete awareness and focus, and carry it with you everywhere in life."
Situation Specific Hard Moments
Overcoming hard moments in difficult situations requires a combination of mental resilience, practical strategies, and emotional intelligence.
Are you in a mess and having a really tough time right now?
These are the steps, with the necessary components and resources, to help you become a master at overcoming hard moments in these difficult situations:
1. Build Mental Resilience
2. Embrace Your Fear Of Failure And Uncertainty
Fear of failure is deeply embedded in our minds. To a large extent it's a cultural thing.
The personal development and self-help world is steeped in case studies and analysis of success.
But what the self help gurus tell you is a partial truth masquerading as the whole truth.
Success is the exception rather than the rule.
Every scientific discovery, every new invention, every great innovation, every new idea of substance is the product of innumerable failures.
3. Develop Your Thinking Skills
Focus on how not what to think.
Develop critical thinking so that you can deliberately and systematically process information and make better decisions.
Adopt a strategic mindset that is focused on the most efficient thinking process to achieve a result.
Think about thinking - know how to apply the most appropriate cognitive processes to the task in hand.
Understand and learn mental models.
Further Reading:
How To Practise Mindfulness - Drop The Cushion, Focus Your Mind On NOW
5 Zen Mindsets For Mastery - In Any Area Of Your Life
The Confident Mind - 4 Keys To Peak Performance
Next Article:
Drop The Story - How To Deal With Your Demons and Transform Your Life
Return from: "Overcoming Hard Moments" to: Walking The Talk
LATEST ARTICLES
Curiosity Skilled The Cat - Optimize For Interesting
Let Stillness Speak - Living Within A Complex System
Understanding Complex Systems Thinking - It's Not Complicated
Stay On The Bus - When To Keep On Going
Zen Thoughts Email Series
How to Get What You Value by Changing What You Measure
How to Become A Master At Overcoming Hard Moments
Drop The Story - Deal With Your Demons and Transform Your Experience
Standing In The Gap Between No Longer And Not Yet
Preparing The Ground - For Things You Can Not See
Easing The Weight Of Expectation
Coram Deo - Living In Consciousness
The Power Of Patience - Why You Need The World's Toughest Quality
Demonizing The Other and Personal Acts Of Compassion
Why You Should Embrace Anomalies - The Incredible Value Of Disconfirming Evidence