Compassion is derived from the Latin words "com pati" meaning to suffer with.
It has been defined as an empathic understanding of a person's feelings, accompanied by
altruism, or a desire to act on that person's behalf.
In practical terms it is when you relate to someone’s situation, and you want to help them. You see someone having a hard time, and you show up beside them and offer a helping hand.
We are social creatures
We are social creatures and it has been said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. We are susceptible to other people's emotions.
Social contagion
This has been referred to as emotional or social contagion and it has an evolutionary purpose. This is hardwired reflex is a basic building block of human interaction and comprises a range of critical survival skills such as the ability to coordinate and synchronize with others, to empathize with them, and read their minds.
Herd mentality
We are susceptible to herd mentality because we want to fit it in and be accepted, and so we follow the norm. We have a strong desire to conform.
Hardwired to conform
Recent research suggests that we are hardwired to conform.
This is not surprising given that we have the ingrained mentality of
our stone-age ancestors from the Savannah Plain 200,000 years ago, and
where conformity and "pack mentality" would have been another key survival skill.
In the business world, Daniel Goleman introduced the concept of primal leadership in organisations where he describes the leader's emotions as "... most contagious from the top down, from leader to followers."
Goleman and his team conducted research which showed that the leader’s style determines about 70% of the emotional climate in an organisation which in turns drives 20-30% of business performance.
There are strong moral and philosophical imperatives for compassion in most of the world's major religious belief systems, which boils down to it being "the right thing" to do.
There is an innate human response to other's suffering that can lead to a societal or even national outpouring of compassion such as we are witnessing at time of writing with regard to Ukrainian refugees.
For as long as it lasts, and until the news media cycle moves on, this can be seen as a good thing as largely selfish and materialistic western societies engage in these collective acts of compassion and reassert their democratic and humanitarian values.
According to Psychology Today there are some interesting personal benefits to be derived from the expression of compassion. Not only does the recipient benefit but so does the person who is giving compassion, and some of these benefits include:
In my experience it is very easy to get caught up in my own problems and issues and to see the world very largely through the lens of my thoughts, my feelings and my experiences.
I have found that this is intensified when dealing with the attrition factor of long term and seemingly irresolvable problems.
In an earlier article I did share how that I have lived with certain issues for over 20 years and that from time to time cause me to feel overwhelmed and that I can see no light at the end of the tunnel.
But I also shared how that I have found that one of the most powerful ways to seeing some light at the end of my personal tunnel is to shift my focus away from myself and my situation and look for opportunities to show compassion and be the light to someone else.
I have found that I need this. It keeps me sane, it keeps me going and it gives me a sense of hope and my life a sense of meaning and purpose.
This idea is developed in Buddhist thought and teaching with the metaphor of "The Ferryman" who is someone who becomes "a champion of compassion".
The attitude of the Ferryman is that the pain that usually drags you down and causes you to withdraw into yourself is the stepping-stone for awakening your compassion and your understanding of the pain of others.
The Ferryman knows that we all cross the river of life together, that we are all in the same boat, we are all fundamentally the same and want the same things.
So, as the Ferryman you transmute the base metal of your own pain and suffering to bring hope and healing to others.
The purpose of this site is to show you how to cope in tough times, and to provide you with the tools to do this successfully by adopting a balanced approach to life.
We focus heavily on learning how to think effectively and how to not think - that is, to be mindful.
In my experience, the discipline and practice of compassion brings together the head and heart, and is an integral aspect of the balanced life.
Compassion is good for you and it is in your self interest!
Next Article: The Red Pill - This Is What Will Happen After You Take It
Return from "Compassion" to: Walking The Talk
- What if everything we think…
LATEST ARTICLES
The Balanced Brain - The Ultimate Route To Personal Transformation
How To Experience The Benefits Of A Balanced Brain. Underpinning all of the belief systems and practices that offer routes to personal change, transformation and spiritual growth is the balanced brain…
How To Make Better Decisions - By Avoiding The Narrative Trap
To Understand The Truth We Have To See The Whole Picture. One of the best ways to make better decisions is to have a deeper understanding of the many things that might stop that happening. To understa…
The Greatest Love - The Most Important Relationship You Will Ever Have
Yet Most Will Never Know It Everyone of us has a place, in our hearts there's a space, that is home to the greatest love of all. This love transcends everything we think we know about the world of for…
Everything Is Connected And Why You Don't Feel It
...And Why It Matters
As human beings we are skating on very thin ice with our sense of self and certainty about "how things are" and what we like to think of as reality:
Who Is In Charge Of Your Brain?
How Not To Be Stupid. Who is in charge of your brain? This is not a silly questions. It matters because the outcomes that you experience in your life are determined by how you respond to the events th…
How To Be A Winner On A Very Large Scale
The Incredible Benefits Of Selective Attention. This is not a typical article about how to be a winner. We are not going to talk about goal setting, the importance of habits, the power of focus and al…
The Metagame Approach To Life
How To Achieve Your Biggest Objectives.
The metagame approach to life is all about winning and achieving your biggest objectives by:
- Understanding the bigger picture
- Being better by doing things d…Shantideva - The Way Of The Bodhisattva
Walking The Path Of Compassion. Shantideva the 8th century Indian Buddhist sage is famous for his treatise "The Way of the Bodhisattva" delivered as an extended teaching to the monks of Nalanda monast…
Reframing History - Deconstruction And Discussion Not Destruction
History is always about context, not imposing our own moral values on the past. For those of us fortunate enough to live within western democracies, we are living in an age where a vociferous and into…
Tao Te Ching - Connecting To Your True Source Of Power.
How To Be Lived By The Tao. The Tao Te Ching is one of those books that many people read, few understand, and even fewer put into practice. The only way to know the Tao is to experience it, and it is…
How Things Really Are - The Inbuilt Design Flaws
Chaos, Disorder And Decay Is The Natural Order Of Things. Nobody has the perfect life. We all struggle and strive to attain health, wealth and personal happiness. Yet these three big areas: our health…
Intuition Or Anxiety - Are There Angels Or Devils Crawling Here?
How To Tell The Difference Between Intuition and Anxiety. How do you know whether the voice of your intuition is real or just the product of your inner anxiety? Several months ago I was having a drink…
What Is Truth - How To Tell A Partial Truth From The Whole Truth?
How the truth and nothing but the truth is often not the whole truth. My great aunty Flo broke her arm and died. It is true that she broke her arm in 1923. It is also true that she died in 1949. But t…
Duality And Life Beyond Your Thinking Mind
Duality and life beyond your thinking mind focuses on the limitations of time, foreground and background, duality and "stuckness". The first aspect of duality and life beyond your thinking mind focuse…
The Conscious Mind Is Limited - Be Aware And Be Prepared
Being aware is the first stage of being prepared. The conscious mind is limited in so many ways. There are some who would argue that there is no such thing as conscious thought and that it is represen…
Your Inner Map Of Reality - Here's Why You Think The Way You Do
The big picture of how your inner map of reality creates your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours. Your inner map of reality is based on the filters of your own ethnic, national, social, family and rel…
The Failure Of Cancel Culture - Suppression Not Engagement
Why we need to wear our beliefs lightly and develop negative capability. Throughout history people have campaigned to fight beliefs, ideologies, and injustices that they perceived to be oppressive, di…
4 Big Reasons Why We Get Stuck In Our Attempts At Personal Change
Most People Spend Their Entire Life Imprisoned Within The Confines Of Their Own Thoughts. This first of the 4 big reasons why we get stuck is, in my view, the most important. The "self-help industry…
How Do I Change And Why Is It So Hard?
We Would Rather Die Than Change, And We Usually Do In my experience, the vast majority of people who say they want to change don’t change. Most people reading this won’t change because they don’t real…
The Illusion Of A Separate Self - Windows 11 With Self Awareness!
Beyond the content of your mind you are so much more than you think you are. When we talk of "myself" this is the conventional way of referring to our self image which is in fact the ego's constructio…
Finite And Infinite Games - Dazed, Confused & Ultimately Transcendent
This is not an instruction manual, it is a wake up call!
Over this past week I have read Professor James Carse's highly regarded "Finite And Infinite Games - A Vision Of Life As Play And Possibility"…
The Gap And The Gain - How Your Brain Sabotages Your Happiness
How Your Lizard Brain Sabotages Your Happiness We are hardwired to measure our progress in any and all areas of life where we have goals and aspirations. We can't not do it. But what we measure and ho…
How To Wake Up - 4 Simple Practices To Help You Wake Up Now
So What Exactly Does It Mean to Wake Up - What Is "Enlightenment"? There is nothing magical, mystical or mysterious about waking up we’re actually having glimpses of enlightenment all the time. Enligh…
Situational Communication - Different Strokes For Different Folks
Situational communication is about taking account of 3 often ignored factors about the other person. You are a situational communicator when you recognise that effective communication is not an event…
How To Influence Without Authority - 6 Key Tips
The secret to how to influence without authority is that you get what you really want by giving other people what they really want. We live in an interconnected world and knowing how to influence with…
Change Questions To Change Your Outcomes
Asking The Right Questions Is Critical For A Successful Change. Every time we initiate a significant change - whether in our personal life or in an organisation - we will most likely over-estimate our…
Group Culture - The Invisible Software That Rules Your Life
Group culture is: "How we do things round here". We like to see ourselves as free agents making our own choices and living authentically but the reality is that The Matrix has many layers and we are u…
Why Getting From A to B Is Not Aways A Straight Line
In circumstances of significant change, the progress from A to B will not be in a straight line. We run our lives largely on auto-pilot. In most circumstances your experience of getting from A to B is…
The Art Of Persuasion Planning For Success - Here's How To Do It!
To be successful in the art of persuasion you must ensure that certain things happen. To be successful in the art of persuasion you must establish a framework of what has to happen to get you to that…
The Art Of Persuasion Advanced Communication Skills - Gaining Buyin
Create The Environment Where They Want To Buyin to Your Proposal In order to build the win-win you have to uncover what it is that the other person really wants or needs, and to do that you have to as…