Walking The Talk

Don't explain your philosophy. Embody it!


Walking The Talk. Don't explain your philosophy. Embody it! Photograph of an expedition leader leads his team up a snowy mountain.


The purpose of this article is to launch a new series of articles on the general subject of Walking The Talk.

I believe that those us who put ourselves out there with blogs and sites on various aspects of personal development have a duty of care to our readers to be open and to share our personal experiences of the topics covered.

The walking the talk articles that I am posting in this series are all based directly or indirectly on my personal experiences.

Life is short, time is precious, and I have reached and age and stage in life where I have little interest in shooting the breeze, sounding off, and offering opinion pieces for readers' entertainment.

My purpose with this website, and very specifically in this series of articles, is to attempt to offer insights, practical tips and resources that have benefited me and that readers may find helpful.

By way of introduction, I would like to share the following thoughts.







Walking The Talk Or Fleecing The Flock?

Fleecing the flock

The world of self-improvement, self-help and personal development is full of people making money out of their websites and blogs, it is a multi-billion dollar business.

Whilst on the one hand I can understand why people will charge for training course and associated services and I support this - to a point. All too often this can become exploitative.

Why?

Because of 4 inter-connected reasons which are well known to, and skillfully exploited by, the purveyors of self-help material:


[1] The Sun Tan Effect

You spend your money and go on these courses, attend the events, and watch the videos and in the short-term it seems to make a difference and you feel energized and motivated to change.

But after 10-15 days it all starts to wear off and after a month or less you are back to where you started - with no lasting change.

In the self help industry this is known as the "The Sun Tan Effect". This suits the sellers of self-help material because they know that another factor will now kick in.


[2] If Only I Could Find The Missing Piece...?

The up-sell in so much of the self-help industry is deliberately designed to exploit this innate and increasingly desperate desire to find the missing piece, and of course this involves spending more money so like the lady in the song you're buying your stairway to heaven...

Except there's one unstated and under-recognised factor at play which is that you can't change because at a very fundamental and unconscious level you don't really want to change.


[3] Immunity To Change

Your immunity to change is an unconscious resistance that  can be defined as a "hidden commitment" with an underlying root cause, that competes and conflicts with a stated commitment to change.

So, your failure to achieve a personal change goal isn’t the result of a lack of will-power, it’s your "emotional immune system" trying to protect you.

This is why you find it hard to impossible to stick to New Year resolutions, why you don't do those things you know you should do, and why you will likely stay stuck and trapped in the thought processes and behaviours that you are trying to change - because despite your best intentions you fundamentally don't want to change.

[4] Instant Success

You can achieve a very quick relief to stress symptoms and you can make powerful changes to how you think and behave but lasting change take time, hard work and the formation and application of the right habits.

Contrary to what so many of the self-help gurus tell you there is no instant success.

They tell you what you want to hear and they over-promise what they can not deliver, and they stop walking the talk.

Success in most areas of life is the result of persistence and consistence in taking the series of small daily steps that will deliver your goals.

This is known as the long game.


Shout Out!

Big respect to popular blogger Mark Manson who  has just announced that after 13 years he is stopping writing about personal development:

"...it's time for me to move on from the self-help world... the point is to stop."



    In the competitive world of self-help "smoke and mirrors" always watch the other guy's feet to see his true intentions.

    When there is a disconnect between someone's words and actions, always pay close attention to their actions.








Walking The Talk And Shepherding The Flock

The Good Shepherds Take Care Of Their Flock



    "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me." [Bible: John 10.14]


The good shepherd

In my view, if you have something to offer people who are having a hard time the very least you can do is to provide a level of free, quality teaching, advice and support - sufficient to help them on their way.

The reference point on all this is the Buddha, Jesus Christ and Mahatma Ghandi and not Esther Hicks, Rhonda Byrne and Tony Robbins.

Good shepherds are walking the talk, and they lead their flock in the right direction, and do their best to take care of them. Good shepherds  don't charge for the privilege of providing basic care.









    Just because someone looks the part doesn't mean they are...








Walking The Talk Freestyle

Freestyle

This is a website and not a blog. As you know, a blog presents pages in reverse chronological order, so newest content appears first whereas a website is static in nature and pages are indexed in a hierarchical structure.

The easiest way of thinking about this is to view a blog as a published journal and a website as a book with an index and chapters.

Another key feature of a website is SEO.

95% of the articles on this site are search engine optimized [SEO]. This means that these articles are written in a style and format that will be attractive to search engines, who will in turn present this site's content to their users as the best solution to their search enquiry.

A core component of SEO is the use of carefully selected in-demand keywords and optimising them on the posted pages.

Whilst there is a strong discipline in this approach in that it leads to very focused and "on subject" material, it is also constraining.

For example, if I choose to write about a subject, then to meet SEO criteria I have to find the exact in-demand keywords and use them in a carefully prescribed content-format and page-structure.

Whereas a blog style of writing offers a much more freestyle approach, and I would not give any thought or consideration to keywords and SEO.


Freestyle

All of the upcoming articles I am going to write and link to this page are going to be freestyle articles, that is to say, blog style articles presented in a website structure.

All walking the talk articles will be fully indexed to this page and cross referenced to relevant material on this site or third party resources.

The focus of these articles is about living with, and applying, the extensive materials and resources that are already on this site.

Most of the pages on this site are very content rich, and this is deliberate. I try to cover as much ground as possible in each article paying attention to the complexities of the subject matter whilst attempting to present the material in an easy to read format.

In these walking the talk articles I am attempting to adopt a more informal, relaxed and conversational tone with a narrower focus to each article and with a key point takeaway at the end of each piece.

Comments and feedback  are always welcome.







Walking The Talk Articles

Oct 23

The Greatest Love - The Most Important Relationship You Will Ever Have

Sept 23

Everything Is Connected And Why You Don't Feel It

Aug 23

Who Is In Charge Of Your Brain - How Not To Be Stupid

July 23

How To Be A Winner - The Incredible Benefits Of Selective Attention

The Metagame Approach To Life - How To Achieve Your Biggest Objectives

Shantideva - The Way Of The Bodhisattva

June 23

Reframing History - Deconstruction And Discussion Not Destruction

April 23

What Is Truth - How To Tell A Partial Truth From The Whole Truth?

Mar 23

The Failure Of Cancel Culture - It's Suppression Not Engagement

Feb 23

Finite And Infinite Games - Dazed, Confused & Ultimately Transcendent

Situational Communication - Different Strokes For Different Folks

Jan 23

How To Influence without Authority - 6 Key Tips

Change Questions To Change Your Outcomes

Group Culture - The Invisible Software That Rules Your Life

Dec 22

Getting From A to B Is Not Aways A Straight Line

The Art Of Persuasion Planning For Success - Here's How To Do It!

Nov 22

The Art Of Persuasion Advanced Communication Skills - Gaining BuyIn

The Art Of Persuasion The One Fundamental Principle - Create A Win-Win

Communication Persuasion And Change - Key Skills To Survive & Succeed

Oct 22

The Eisenhower Box - What Is Important Is Seldom Urgent And Vice Versa

5 Zen Mindsets For Mastery - In Any Area Of Your Life

Dealing With The Toxicity Of Online Dating

Why Understanding Ergodicity Is Critical To Your Long Term Survival

Dealing With Imposter Syndrome

How To Benefit From The Unseen Margins - 5 Key Tips For Success


Sept 22

The Art Of Thinking Clearly - How To Do More Than Just Survive And Reproduce

Algorithms to Live By - 5 Useful Rules Of Thumb

Finding Signal In The Noise - How To Avoid The Noise Bottleneck

Aug 22

The Checklist Manifesto - Your Personal Safety Net

How Not To Be Stupid - 3 Key Tips

Beginners Mind And The Voice Of Experience

The Art Of Being Alone Is A Skill - Let's Make Today A Good Day

Intuition & Anxiety - Are There Angels Or Devils Calling Here?

Like A Prayer - Life Is A Mystery

Fear Of Missing Out - "I'll Have What She's Having!"

Finish What You Start - Action Will Destroy Your Procrastination

July 22

Going The Extra Mile - The Power Of One More

Tao Te Ching - How To Be Lived By The Tao

Dying To Self - Everything Does Not Revolve Around Me

The Confident Mind - 4 Keys To Peak Performance

8 Principles For Success

The Loving Father - A Love That Will Not Let You Go

June 22

Your Ebenezer Stone Of Help

Going With The Flow - The Balance Of Being And Doing

The Stockdale Paradox - How To Deal With The Attrition Factor

Embrace Your Fear Of Failure And Uncertainty

Your Relationship With Failure Is Critical To Your Success

Boredom - Your Greatest Threat to Results

May 22

The Luck Factor - 4 Principles

The Wilderness Years - 3 Keys To An Exit

Lost Stuck & Going Round In Circles?

Seeing Is Believing Or Is It?

What Difference Did You Make?

Compassion Is Selfish And You Need It

This Is What Will Happen After You Take The Red Pill

April 22

Transformational Life Hacks

This Too Shall Pass

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Mar 22

Who Do You Trust?

How Positive Asymmetry Can Transform Your Life

Growth Mindset - How To Be There When Preparation Meets Opportunity

Lost For Words? Experience Truth

Belief - A Terrible Tyrant Or An Empowering Servant

Feb 22

Herd Mentality And How To Avoid It

Are You Trying To Teach A Cat To Bark?

The Value Of Slack

6 Tips To Help You Stop Trying Too Hard

How To Build Your Self Confidence

Your Secret For Success

Where Is Your Point Of Focus

How To Overcome Fear And Perform Powerfully

Jan 22

Dance Into The Light And Stop Chasing Your Tail

Change Your Language To Change How You Feel

How To Live In A Participatory Universe

4 Keys To Working With The Energy Of Life

How To Deal With The Challenges Of Playing The Long Game


Dec 21

If You Don't Take Care Of You, Who Will?

Pay Attention To What Bothers Other People About You

Be The Light At The End Of Someone Else's Tunnel

Asking The Right Questions

Learn How To Benefit From The Fat Tail Fractal Factor

Dunbar's Number, More In Common And The Narcissism of Minor Differences


Nov 21

Give Thanks In Everything

Recognising Limbo As A Stage Of Transition

On Becoming The Ferryman

Things Of The Spirit

Mind Games & How To Free Yourself From Them

Just Do It - A Call To Action And Getting Started

Self Dialogue - Dealing With Your Many Selves

The Transformative Power of Acceptance

Can You Stop Thinking? Discover The Joy Of A Quiet Mind

Are You Waiting For Change?

4th November 2021











Walking The Talk - Resources



All of these resources are tools, processes and techniques that I have used. These are powerful tools and I recommend them to you. [I have no commercial interest.]








Return from "Walking The Talk" to: Home Page

Contact me



English Chinese (Traditional) Russian French German Italian Spanish Vietnamese



LATEST ARTICLES

  1. The Balanced Brain - The Ultimate Route To Personal Transformation

    How To Experience The Benefits Of A Balanced Brain. Underpinning all of the belief systems and practices that offer routes to personal change, transformation and spiritual growth is the balanced brain…

    Read More

  2. How To Make Better Decisions - By Avoiding The Narrative Trap

    To Understand The Truth We Have To See The Whole Picture. One of the best ways to make better decisions is to have a deeper understanding of the many things that might stop that happening. To understa…

    Read More

  3. The Greatest Love - The Most Important Relationship You Will Ever Have

    Yet Most Will Never Know It Everyone of us has a place, in our hearts there's a space, that is home to the greatest love of all. This love transcends everything we think we know about the world of for…

    Read More

  4. Everything Is Connected And Why You Don't Feel It

    ...And Why It Matters As human beings we are skating on very thin ice with our sense of self and certainty about "how things are" and what we like to think of as reality:

    - What if everything we think…

    Read More

  5. Who Is In Charge Of Your Brain?

    How Not To Be Stupid. Who is in charge of your brain? This is not a silly questions. It matters because the outcomes that you experience in your life are determined by how you respond to the events th…

    Read More

  6. How To Be A Winner On A Very Large Scale

    The Incredible Benefits Of Selective Attention. This is not a typical article about how to be a winner. We are not going to talk about goal setting, the importance of habits, the power of focus and al…

    Read More

  7. The Metagame Approach To Life

    How To Achieve Your Biggest Objectives. The metagame approach to life is all about winning and achieving your biggest objectives by: - Understanding the bigger picture
    - Being better by doing things d…

    Read More

  8. Shantideva - The Way Of The Bodhisattva

    Walking The Path Of Compassion. Shantideva the 8th century Indian Buddhist sage is famous for his treatise "The Way of the Bodhisattva" delivered as an extended teaching to the monks of Nalanda monast…

    Read More

  9. Reframing History - Deconstruction And Discussion Not Destruction

    History is always about context, not imposing our own moral values on the past. For those of us fortunate enough to live within western democracies, we are living in an age where a vociferous and into…

    Read More

  10. Tao Te Ching - Connecting To Your True Source Of Power.

    How To Be Lived By The Tao. The Tao Te Ching is one of those books that many people read, few understand, and even fewer put into practice. The only way to know the Tao is to experience it, and it is…

    Read More

  11. How Things Really Are - The Inbuilt Design Flaws

    Chaos, Disorder And Decay Is The Natural Order Of Things. Nobody has the perfect life. We all struggle and strive to attain health, wealth and personal happiness. Yet these three big areas: our health…

    Read More

  12. Intuition Or Anxiety - Are There Angels Or Devils Crawling Here?

    How To Tell The Difference Between Intuition and Anxiety. How do you know whether the voice of your intuition is real or just the product of your inner anxiety? Several months ago I was having a drink…

    Read More

  13. What Is Truth - How To Tell A Partial Truth From The Whole Truth?

    How the truth and nothing but the truth is often not the whole truth. My great aunty Flo broke her arm and died. It is true that she broke her arm in 1923. It is also true that she died in 1949. But t…

    Read More

  14. Duality And Life Beyond Your Thinking Mind

    Duality and life beyond your thinking mind focuses on the limitations of time, foreground and background, duality and "stuckness". The first aspect of duality and life beyond your thinking mind focuse…

    Read More

  15. The Conscious Mind Is Limited - Be Aware And Be Prepared

    Being aware is the first stage of being prepared. The conscious mind is limited in so many ways. There are some who would argue that there is no such thing as conscious thought and that it is represen…

    Read More

  16. Your Inner Map Of Reality - Here's Why You Think The Way You Do

    The big picture of how your inner map of reality creates your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours. Your inner map of reality is based on the filters of your own ethnic, national, social, family and rel…

    Read More

  17. The Failure Of Cancel Culture - Suppression Not Engagement

    Why we need to wear our beliefs lightly and develop negative capability. Throughout history people have campaigned to fight beliefs, ideologies, and injustices that they perceived to be oppressive, di…

    Read More

  18. 4 Big Reasons Why We Get Stuck In Our Attempts At Personal Change

    Most People Spend Their Entire Life Imprisoned Within The Confines Of Their Own Thoughts. This first of the 4 big reasons why we get stuck is, in my view, the most important. The "self-help industry…

    Read More

  19. How Do I Change And Why Is It So Hard?

    We Would Rather Die Than Change, And We Usually Do In my experience, the vast majority of people who say they want to change don’t change. Most people reading this won’t change because they don’t real…

    Read More

  20. The Illusion Of A Separate Self - Windows 11 With Self Awareness!

    Beyond the content of your mind you are so much more than you think you are. When we talk of "myself" this is the conventional way of referring to our self image which is in fact the ego's constructio…

    Read More

  21. Finite And Infinite Games - Dazed, Confused & Ultimately Transcendent

    This is not an instruction manual, it is a wake up call! Over this past week I have read Professor James Carse's highly regarded "Finite And Infinite Games - A Vision Of Life As Play And Possibility"

    Read More

  22. The Gap And The Gain - How Your Brain Sabotages Your Happiness

    How Your Lizard Brain Sabotages Your Happiness We are hardwired to measure our progress in any and all areas of life where we have goals and aspirations. We can't not do it. But what we measure and ho…

    Read More

  23. How To Wake Up - 4 Simple Practices To Help You Wake Up Now

    So What Exactly Does It Mean to Wake Up - What Is "Enlightenment"? There is nothing magical, mystical or mysterious about waking up we’re actually having glimpses of enlightenment all the time. Enligh…

    Read More

  24. Situational Communication - Different Strokes For Different Folks

    Situational communication is about taking account of 3 often ignored factors about the other person. You are a situational communicator when you recognise that effective communication is not an event…

    Read More

  25. How To Influence Without Authority - 6 Key Tips

    The secret to how to influence without authority is that you get what you really want by giving other people what they really want. We live in an interconnected world and knowing how to influence with…

    Read More

  26. Change Questions To Change Your Outcomes

    Asking The Right Questions Is Critical For A Successful Change. Every time we initiate a significant change - whether in our personal life or in an organisation - we will most likely over-estimate our…

    Read More

  27. Group Culture - The Invisible Software That Rules Your Life

    Group culture is: "How we do things round here". We like to see ourselves as free agents making our own choices and living authentically but the reality is that The Matrix has many layers and we are u…

    Read More

  28. Why Getting From A to B Is Not Aways A Straight Line

    In circumstances of significant change, the progress from A to B will not be in a straight line. We run our lives largely on auto-pilot. In most circumstances your experience of getting from A to B is…

    Read More

  29. The Art Of Persuasion Planning For Success - Here's How To Do It!

    To be successful in the art of persuasion you must ensure that certain things happen. To be successful in the art of persuasion you must establish a framework of what has to happen to get you to that…

    Read More

  30. The Art Of Persuasion Advanced Communication Skills - Gaining Buyin

    Create The Environment Where They Want To Buyin to Your Proposal In order to build the win-win you have to uncover what it is that the other person really wants or needs, and to do that you have to as…

    Read More



Get new posts by email:









Zen-Tools.Net





Support This Site