Things Of The Spirit
True Wisdom Lies In Seeing The Bigger Picture
We are more than our bodies, and belong to more than just this earth.
A Personal Reflection On Things Of The Spirit
I am going to share something with you that is very personal and very private. I have always told myself that I will not tell this story in any of my articles on Zen Tools. But I feel strangely compelled to do this now, so here goes...
This is about the death of my father.
The phone rang at about 10.30pm on 12th February 2005. It was my Mother:
"Stephen, your Father has died."
He was only 74 and in reasonable health so this news came as a shock.
I drove down to my parents' home - which was about one and half hours away - in a state of numbness. I had no idea what I would find or how my Mother would be.
When I arrived my mother seemed OK and very together and there was a very palpable sense of lightness and calm in the house and not the tidal wave of emotional turbulence that I was expecting.
Then I looked at his corpse
I went upstairs to their bedroom where my father's corpse lay and I immediately had the sense of an overwhelming sense of peace in that bedroom.
I do not mean that I felt peaceful, I was neutral and still in a mild state of shock, I mean that there was an atmosphere and energy in that room that was overwhelmingly light, calm and peaceful.
I felt quite literally infused and absorbed into this powerful energy and presence that suffused the room.
Then I looked at his corpse and I knew that was not him, that what I was looking at was the empty shell.
In that moment of observing his corpse I was struck by the realisation that my father was dead physically and that all of his personality, his ego, his many eccentricities, our tragic differences of opinion, his depression and associated moods ALL of it was dead and had ceased the moment the blood stopped pumping round his brain.
Yet simultaneously I knew that he was alive, more alive and more whole than he had ever been this side of the grave.
In the Christian expression I knew that my father was resurrected in a new body and a new life and he was complete, glorious and magnificent in ways that he had never been in his earthly life.
My father was a deeply damaged man who went through the whole of his life with a deep sense of not being good enough, of never making the grade.
He was also a deeply spiritual man and a lay preacher for most of his adult life.
Through his darkest days in times of great family tragedy he maintained his spiritual life - you could say he kept the faith - and especially at times and in circumstances when he had no rational or sound reason to do so.
I recall him saying to me once how he had prayed to God from the depths of his despair, after experiencing yet another family tragedy, and said:
" .... You treat me worse than a dog, no loving human father would treat his child as you treat me."
Despite it all, he kept his faith. In his last letter to me he wrote:
“Dear Stephen… So pleased to be able to visit you yesterday.
I, like so many Christians, look back on our past with
bewilderment, and dismay at times…many…things have happened that I cannot
explain and we have made many mistakes too, but I know we got one thing right.
In the darkest times…with dreams again shattered I knew we must go on
worshiping and preaching…or perish spiritually. God bless - love Dad”
"Nothing in his life became him, like the leaving it"
As I stood there in that bedroom I was hit by the further realisation that nothing so became my father as the manner of his departure.
Not only was he alive and more alive now than he had ever been, but he had passed from this life to the next with an honour guard of angels.
Over the following days right up to and during his funeral both my mother and I had this continuing, overwhelming and palpable sense of a very powerful angelic presence.
It was as though in death my father experienced the recognition and praise that he never felt in life.
Next Article: Mind Games & How To Free Yourself From Them
Return from "Things Of The Spirit" to: Walking The Talk
Or to: What Is Spirituality?
LATEST ARTICLES
The Dopamine Delusion - Why Anticipation Beats Achievement
The thrill we feel is not in the having, but in the wanting. The more we have, the more we want. The more things we acquire and the easier things get for us, the more discontent we feel. The more spo…The Power Of Silence Is Experienced In Your Use Of Language
Practise the "Beneficial Neurological Delay" for optimal comprehension. The power of silence is experienced in your use of language, specifically: - How you formulate the words you use to think and in…Dealing With Setbacks - 5 Questions To Help You Face Discomfort
How To Counter The Cognitive Shock Of A Setback. Setbacks challenge your instinctual desire for control and comfort, making it unnatural to respond with calm or acceptance. The reason for these instin…Why Praxis Is The Key To Living A Successful And Stress Free Life
Praxis Is The Process Of Taking Informed Action To take informed action you need to be prepared with information, knowledge, education and insight. Informed action is objective action that: - Seeks to…The Power Of Working With The Front Line
How To Exercise Influence Without Authority In Complex Systems I first discovered the power of working with the frontline when I was working as a business troubleshooter on large projects, programmes…Dealing With Distraction - Learning How To Live With Your "Attention Autopilot"
Living With Your Attention Autopilot The good news about your Attention Autopilot is that it will keep you safe. It is continuously scanning your immediate environment for threats. The bad news is tha…The Time Of Your Life - Recognising Moments Of Alignment For Action
How will you recognise your moment of alignment for action? In this article I want to look at our relationship with time and in the context of the two main themes of this site, firstly as a thinking s…The Metagame Approach to Second Order Thinking - 5 Guiding Principles
How To Position Yourself For Survival & Success In A Complex Environment We treat life as though it is a complicated system, and our thinking skills and mental models are focused on understanding its…Outcome Over Optics - Long Game Outcomes Over Short-Term Ego Gains
The Day I Learned To Focus On Outcome Over Optics I have never forgotten the day I learned to focus on outcomes over optics and figured out a very simple way of saving myself several hundred thousand…The ETTO Principle - Why Near Enough Can Be Good Enough
How To Balance the Efficiency-Thoroughness Trade Off The ETTO Principle describes the inherent trade-off between working efficiently and working thoroughly. This trade-off is something that affects…Master The Art Of Drawing The Bow
Focus On Process Not Outcome In so many areas of our lives, we focus on the outcome, not the process that we follow to achieve it. In the western world, we are conditioned to pay less attention to how…And So This Is Christmas
There Is No Path To Peace - The Path Is Peace Thich Nhat Hanh, the renowned Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, teacher, and peace activist, often spoke about peace as a state of being that begins within on…Curiosity Skilled The Cat - Optimize For Interesting
Curiosity Fuels Excellence The old adage, “Curiosity killed the cat,” warns of the dangers of venturing too far into the unknown. But what if we reimagine it not as a risk but as a gateway to developi…Let Stillness Speak - Living Within A Complex System
To let stlllness speak is to learn it's first major lesson: you are not your thoughts. To let stillness speak is about stepping back from the constant chatter of your mind and allowing a deeper, quiet…Understanding Complex Systems Thinking - It's Not Complicated
Understanding, and being able to work with, complexity is an important thinking skill.
We are all working with complex systems, and we do so every day. The biggest one is life itself. We automaticall…Stay On The Bus - When To Keep On Going
The Helsinki Bus Station Theory
Have you ever started a new project, initiative or role with a big vision and a determination to make a difference? Initially you were full of enthusiasm and highly mo…Zen Thoughts Email Series
Conversations With A Friend Zen Thoughts is an email series of 50 short messages spread over 3 months. The messages are written in the style of a conversation with a friend who is going through a toug…How to Get What You Value by Changing What You Measure
Give Up Control & Gain Influence To Get What You Want
The metrics we choose to focus on can significantly shape our outcomes, sometimes in ways we don't intend. The challenge is to make sure that you…How to Become A Master At Overcoming Hard Moments
"The best in the world are not the best because they win every point. It's because they lose again and again and have learned how to deal with it." This quote from Roger Federer has got a lot of cover…Drop The Story - Deal With Your Demons and Transform Your Experience
Are you living your life from the stories you tell yourself? Learning how to drop the story and deal with that voice in your head can be a game changer. When you can do this you will have a powerful t…