The Transformative Power Of Acceptance


The Transformative Power Of Acceptance. Photo of a bronze statue at Coventry Cathedral depicting a man and a woman embracing in forgiveness.

Introducing The Power Of Acceptance

This website contains about 400,000 words. You could read every single word and it wouldn't make any real difference to you. You might become better informed, but that won't change you.




    There is one word in amongst the other 399,999 words on this site that does have the power to change you and to transform your life - if you choose to act upon it.

    This one word describes one simple teaching and one powerful practice.

    That word is acceptance.


The power of acceptance is the freedom that it gives you.

Freedom from the tyranny of your thoughts and emotional responses to the events and circumstances of your life.

The transforming power of acceptance is that it:

  • Unfuses your thinking mind from your observing mind.
  • Stops you identifying with the torrent of words and thoughts it is constantly spewing out.
  • Unhooks your dependence on a change in outer circumstances before you can make an inner change.
  • Releases your "stuck in waiting" and always looking forward or backwards. 
  • Releases your resistance to what is happening in your life.
  • Brings you peace and calm.
  • Centres you in the present moment, now.

Acceptance is the foundation stone upon which all personal change is built.

It is also the foundation of ACT [Acceptance Commitment Therapy] and a range of other mindfulness based therapies:

"Clients learn to stop avoiding, denying, and struggling with their inner emotions and, instead, accept that these deeper feelings are appropriate responses to certain situations that should not prevent them from moving forward in their lives.

With this understanding, clients begin to accept their issues and hardships and commit to making necessary changes in their behavior, regardless of what is going on in their lives, and how they feel about it."

Carl Jung believed that acceptance and spiritual interconnectedness were crucial to a person's recovery.




Practising The Power Of Acceptance




    "What am I feeling now?

    I accept that I am feeling...."





The Deep Acceptance Process

  • Check-in internally – ask yourself: "What am I feeling now?" [Do it very quickly and no thinking about it – we do not want the thinking mind involved!]
  • Go with the FIRST feeling that comes up.
  • Say out loud [or loudly in your head]:  “I accept that I am feeling angry / frightened /fearful /anxious / resentful..."
  • Say it over and over again several times like a mantra
  • SAY IT WITH MAXIMUM INTENSITY AND FOCUS
  • Now do it again - check-in again internally and ask: "What am I feeling now?"
  • Go with the FIRST feeling that comes up
  • Say out loud [or loudly in your head]:  “I accept that I am feeling angry / frightened /fearful /anxious / resentful..."
  • Rinse and repeat!


The key to this process is simplicity.

Do not think it, just run with whatever comes up.

A good place to start is with your resistance.


An Example

WHAT AM I FEELING? "I am thoroughly pissed off and think this is a stupid bloody process."

I ACCEPT THAT: "I am thoroughly pissed off and think this is a stupid bloody process."

WHAT AM I FEELING? "I am upset and angry because a business deal I thought was going to happen this month hasn't and has been postponed to next February."

I ACCEPT THAT: "I am upset and angry because a business deal I thought was going to happen this month hasn't and has been postponed to next February."

WHAT AM I FEELING? "I am disappointed and upset because my earning from that project was going to pay for the healthcare and family of a good friend of mine in Asia."

I ACCEPT THAT: "I am disappointed and upset because my earnings from that project were going to pay for the healthcare and family support of a good friend of mine in Asia."

WHAT AM I FEELING? "I feel that I have let them down."

I ACCEPT THAT: "I feel that I have let them down."

WHAT AM I FEELING? "My son's dog [that I am dog sitting today] is barking and annoying me, and I feel that I want that bloody dog to shut up."

I ACCEPT THAT: "My son's dog is barking and annoying me, and I feel that I want that bloody dog to shut up."





It may take just 5 minutes or it make take 25 minutes but what you will find after a number of iterations of this process is that the answer to the question: WHAT AM I FEELING? is "I am feeling calm, I feel present, I am peaceful."

If you are not feeling calm and peaceful, you haven't finished the process so continue until you are.

Remember, that you run with whatever comes up with no filtering. If you feel pain and anger - say it. If you want to swear and use angry, offensive and abusive language  - say it.

If you want to curse God [trust me, you won't die!], life, your partner, your ex-partner, your parents, anyone and everyone who you feel has let you down and done you wrong...

If you feel shame, pain, regret...

Just say it - whatever it is, whatever comes up - and accept it.

As with all mindfulness practices the hardest part of this process is just doing it! Check out the story of the leper and the dirty river.

I have used this deep acceptance process many times and it always works.













Further Reading On Acceptance:

Give Thanks In Everything

Teach A Cat To Bark






Next Article: Stop Thinking - Discover The Benefits Of Having Space In Your Mind

Return from "The Power of Acceptance" to: Walking The Talk

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