You suffer every time you believe a thought that argues with what is.
When your mind is perfectly clear, what is, is what you want.
If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.
You can try and try, and in the end the cat will look up at you and say, “Meow.”
Wanting reality to be different than it is - is hopeless.
And yet, if you pay attention, you’ll notice that you think thoughts like this dozens of times a day:
These thoughts are ways of wanting reality to be different than it is.
If you think that this sounds depressing, you’re right.
Much of the stress that you feel is caused by arguing with what is.
Reality is what is true. The truth is whatever is in front of you right now.
For example, whether you like it or not, it’s snowing now. “It shouldn’t be snowing” is just a thought.
In reality, there is no such thing as a “should” or a “shouldn’t”.
These are only judgements - thoughts - that we project onto reality.
Remove the judgements and you can see reality as it is, and this leaves you free to act with clarity and effectiveness.
In a previous article in this series I wrote about The Transformative Power Of Acceptance which is a mindfulness practice that I use and that is based around deep acceptance of how things are right NOW in this present moment.
This practice involves consciously exercising deep and intense acceptance of the feelings that are present in the moment – especially all resistance, negativity and fear about accepting what is present.
Through increased mindfulness practice, you will discover that you are almost continuously in varying degrees of resistance to something. I know and accept that I am.
Here is another approach to the same practice – but this time coming at it from a cognitive perspective.
Take one specific aspect of your current reality that you are resistant to.
Undertake a personal internal enquiry with the following 4 simple questions:
This process is known as “The Work” and was created by Byron Katie, and it is free.
Here are the full instructions.
This is a simple practice.
I use it, and in my experience it is powerful, and I commend it to you.
Further Reading On Acceptance:
The Transforming Power Of Acceptance
Return from: "Teach A Cat To Bark "
Like A Prayer - Life Is A Mystery
How Things Really Are - The Inbuilt Design Flaws
Intuition Or Anxiety - Are There Angels Or Devils Crawling Here?
What Is Truth - How To Tell A Partial Truth From The Whole Truth?
Duality And Life Beyond Your Thinking Mind
The Conscious Mind Is Limited - Be Aware And Be Prepared
Your Inner Map Of Reality - Here's Why You Think The Way You Do
The Failure Of Cancel Culture - Suppression Not Engagement
4 Big Reasons Why We Get Stuck In Our Attempts At Personal Change
How Do I Change And Why Is It So Hard?
The Illusion Of A Separate Self - Windows 11 With Self Awareness!
Finite And Infinite Games - Dazed, Confused & Ultimately Transcendent
The Gap And The Gain - How Your Brain Sabotages Your Happiness
How To Wake Up - 4 Simple Practices To Help You Wake Up Now
Situational Communication - Different Strokes For Different Folks
How To Influence Without Authority - 6 Key Tips
Change Questions To Change Your Outcomes
Group Culture - The Invisible Software That Rules Your Life
Why Getting From A to B Is Not Aways A Straight Line
The Art Of Persuasion Planning For Success - Here's How To Do It!
The Art Of Persuasion Advanced Communication Skills - Gaining Buyin
The Art Of Persuasion The One Fundamental Principle - Create A Win-Win
Communication Persuasion And Change - Key Skills To Survive & Succeed
The Eisenhower Box - What Is Important Is Seldom Urgent
Zen Enlightenment [Satori] - The Stink Of Zen
5 Zen Mindsets For Mastery - In Any Area Of Your Life
Dealing With The Toxicity Of Online Dating - 6 Key Tips From A Clinical Psychologist
Why Understanding Ergodicity Is Critical To Your Long Term Survival
Dealing With Imposter Syndrome - Ego Is The Enemy
The Challenges Of The Road Less Traveled