Stuckness
I don't know about you, but I have spent great chunks of my life waiting for change - waiting for things out there to get better so that I could feel better inside me:
"If only I got a lucky break and won a new client and earned more money, then I could pay my debts and afford to move to a better house in a better location....and a better life..."
"If only people listened to me..."
"If
only I knew the missing piece - that one thing - that will enable me
to really make some big changes in my circumstances..."
"If only...."
It is always: "If only..."
I was "stuck in waiting" - a very similar state to being stuck in seeking.
Always Looking Forward Or Backwards
One of the core features of being stuck in any mental and emotional state is that it is either looking forwards or looking backwards.
Forwards looking states are usually associated with positive and aspirational emotions - and we think of them as a "good thing" and something to be achieved. So we have these associated states of waiting and seeking.
Whereas we usually associate backwards looking states as a "bad thing" and we get stuck in states of mistrust, fear, anxiety and many other manifestations of emotional and psychological pain.
Focused Anywhere But Now
The common thread running through all these states is that they are focused anywhere and everywhere but the present moment.
Waiting for change means that you don’t have it – it’s over there – up there – out
there – ahead of you – away from you – in the future – separate from you -
anywhere in fact but HERE NOW.
This applies to all of us who are seeking any form of self-improvement, self-development or spiritual transformation.
It took me so long, so many years, to finally realise that I had it all the wrong way round and what was needed was a 180 degrees shift in focus.
For things out there to change something inside of me had to change first.
When was that change going to take place? The only time it ever can take place - now.
Deal With Your Resistance And Give Yourself Permission
There was a situation in my own life about 30
years ago when I unconsciously resisted looking inside myself to make
some personal changes.
I used to wait for things to change “out there”. I was continually scouring the landscape looking for evidence of change happening "out there" so that I could feel better. I was grounded in, and fixated on, circumstances.
Once I realised that feeling better was an internal
state, and that my experience of life was ultimately dependent on that change taking place first, I then came face-to-face with my resistance to doing this and that I gave myself permission to make the change inside of me.
Further Reading:
Return from "Waiting For Change" to: Walking The Talk
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