Lost In Transition
Going Round In Circles, Stuck And Lost?
Lost In Transition - A Personal Story
It was late one warm summer’s evening in Marrakesh. We had wandered
around the souks and then enjoyed a pleasant dinner in a restaurant just
off the main market square in the Medina and it was time to head back
to the Riad where we were staying.
The Medina was built around
1122 and is the old town in Marrakesh. It is a twisting labyrinth
comprising 19-kilometers of tiny streets with pink walls, and poor
lighting and it can feel like a scary place to walk through at night,
especially if you don’t know where you are going!
The walk into
the centre undertaken in daylight had been quite pleasant, but walking
back in the dark wasn’t an option so we took a taxi.
The heart of darkness
Unfortunately
the taxi driver misunderstood the rather obscure address of our Riad
and assumed wrongly that we wanted to go some late night venue on the
other side of the Medina! Language difficulties made it impossible to
rectify so we set off on foot.
We asked a succession of
strangers for directions and yet we seemed to be going deeper into what
was rapidly beginning to feel like Conrad’s “Heart Of Darkness”.
With hindsight I am sure the locals who tried to help us were genuine
and had good intentions, but after about an hour or two of this we were
totally disoriented and frankly scared.
Totally lost
To
be in an alien North African city, late in the evening, in the dark,
completely lost in transition from the main market square back to the
obscure location of our Riad, with no tools for navigation, and finding
it impossible to communicate with the locals, was frightening.
To
cut a long story short we eventually found someone who seemed to
understand where we were trying to get to and it was with enormous
relief when we recognised the alley where our Riad was located.
Needless to say, the following day we moved to another Riad in the centre adjacent to the main market square.
Understanding How We Get Lost In Transition And The Change That Caused It
That experience of being lost in transition in the Medina illustrates
the locational disorientation we can experience when we experience an
unexpected change in circumstances, and especially a change that is
imposed upon and that leads to hard times.
At the time of
writing, with the world emerging from Covid-19 lockdown, with the effects of the Russia - Ukraine war and with our
economies strangled, business failures and unemployment rising and our
national governments flailing around like drowning men clutching at
straws I think it is fair to say that many of us are currently
experiencing hard times as a direct result of imposed change!
The
purpose of this article is to set out a framework for understanding
what is happening to you and to go beyond the circumstantial changes and
to address the inner psychological and emotional impacts and how you
can deal with those as well.
The additional objective is to offer a range of practical and proven resources to empower you to cope with these hard times.
The
first and key point to make is that there is a distinction between the
events, situations and circumstances that are imposed on you and your
inner response to these things.
In the world of change management this is known as "transition".
A Model For Understanding Transition
The fundamental difference between change and transition
William Bridges was one of the first thought leader’s in the field of organisational transformation and change management to recognise the fundamental difference between change and transition, namely:
- Change is an external event or situation that happens to you, and often that is imposed upon you.
- Transition is the internal process that you have to go through as you make your readjustment and realignment to the new realities.
Transition is a 3 stage process and it is psychological and emotional journey
Without an effective transition through that process you will likely
become stuck or lost in transition.
Bridges Transition Model involves a three-phase process:
- Ending, Losing, Letting Go - Every transition begins with an ending. We have to let go of the old thing before we can pick up with the new one - not just outwardly, but inwardly, where we keep our connections to people and places that act as definitions of who we are.
- The Neutral Zone - This is a fallow time. One of the difficulties of being in transition in the modern world is that we have lost our appreciation for this gap between the ending and letting go and the new beginning, we find it unsettling. But as in nature the fallow time is a necessary part of the process. It is a time of death and rebirth.
- The New Beginning - This is where we develop a new identity, experience a new energy, and discover a new sense of purpose that enables us to make the change begin to work.
For more in-depth reading and resource please refer to an extensive article with resources that I wrote on the Bridges Transition Model.
William Bridges developed his model for the context of organisational change, but it is very applicable to situations of personal change and I commend it to you.
Bridges' transition model outlined above provides a well recognised and
attested road map for what you are likely to be experiencing, or
eventually will be experiencing, as you enter the transition phase of
your personal experience of hard times. Now I want to focus on,
and offer you, some practical tools and resources that I have used many
times, that will empower you and show you how to cope with the tough
times you may be experiencing when you are lost in transition. Here are 5 simple questions to help you cut through the confusion. Read and apply each of these techniques. ****************** Free Download: One Page Summary Sheet With Action Points & Resources
Empowering Resources For When You Are Lost In Transition
(1) Are you in a mess and having a really tough time right now?
(2) Three "under the radar" powerful techniques
(3) You are NOT your thoughts
"It’s
3 am and you have woken up and can’t get back to sleep. You lie in bed
tossing and turning and as your brain wakes up a little voice in your
head starts nagging you with doubts and fears about money…"
(4) How To Motivate Yourself In Tough Times
(5) Dealing with the long haul
Next Article: Seeing Is Believing Or Is It?
Return from "Lost In Transition" to: Walking The Talk
Or return to: Managing Personal Change
LATEST ARTICLES
The Power Of Working With The Front Line
How To Exercise Influence Without Authority In Complex Systems I first discovered the power of working with the frontline when I was working as a business troubleshooter on large projects, programmes…Dealing With Distraction - Learning How To Live With Your "Attention Autopilot"
Living With Your Attention Autopilot The good news about your Attention Autopilot is that it will keep you safe. It is continuously scanning your immediate environment for threats. The bad news is tha…The Time Of Your Life - Recognising Moments Of Alignment For Action
How will you recognise your moment of alignment for action? In this article I want to look at our relationship with time and in the context of the two main themes of this site, firstly as a thinking s…The Metagame Approach to Second Order Thinking - 5 Guiding Principles
How To Position Yourself For Survival & Success In A Complex Environment We treat life as though it is a complicated system, and our thinking skills and mental models are focused on understanding its…Outcome Over Optics - Long Game Outcomes Over Short-Term Ego Gains
The Day I Learned To Focus On Outcome Over Optics I have never forgotten the day I learned to focus on outcomes over optics and figured out a very simple way of saving myself several hundred thousand…The ETTO Principle - Why Near Enough Can Be Good Enough
How To Balance the Efficiency-Thoroughness Trade Off The ETTO Principle describes the inherent trade-off between working efficiently and working thoroughly. This trade-off is something that affects…Master The Art Of Drawing The Bow
Focus On Process Not Outcome In so many areas of our lives, we focus on the outcome, not the process that we follow to achieve it. In the western world, we are conditioned to pay less attention to how…And So This Is Christmas
There Is No Path To Peace - The Path Is Peace Thich Nhat Hanh, the renowned Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, teacher, and peace activist, often spoke about peace as a state of being that begins within on…Curiosity Skilled The Cat - Optimize For Interesting
Curiosity Fuels Excellence The old adage, “Curiosity killed the cat,” warns of the dangers of venturing too far into the unknown. But what if we reimagine it not as a risk but as a gateway to developi…Let Stillness Speak - Living Within A Complex System
To let stlllness speak is to learn it's first major lesson: you are not your thoughts. To let stillness speak is about stepping back from the constant chatter of your mind and allowing a deeper, quiet…Understanding Complex Systems Thinking - It's Not Complicated
Understanding, and being able to work with, complexity is an important thinking skill.
We are all working with complex systems, and we do so every day. The biggest one is life itself. We automaticall…Stay On The Bus - When To Keep On Going
The Helsinki Bus Station Theory
Have you ever started a new project, initiative or role with a big vision and a determination to make a difference? Initially you were full of enthusiasm and highly mo…Zen Thoughts Email Series
Conversations With A Friend Zen Thoughts is an email series of 50 short messages spread over 3 months. The messages are written in the style of a conversation with a friend who is going through a toug…How to Get What You Value by Changing What You Measure
Give Up Control & Gain Influence To Get What You Want
The metrics we choose to focus on can significantly shape our outcomes, sometimes in ways we don't intend. The challenge is to make sure that you…How to Become A Master At Overcoming Hard Moments
"The best in the world are not the best because they win every point. It's because they lose again and again and have learned how to deal with it." This quote from Roger Federer has got a lot of cover…