Be The Light
How To Find The Light At The End Of Your Tunnel Of Darkness
What does it mean to Be the Light?
"I can't cope with life, I just don't want to live any more," says a woman's softly spoken voice. "Nobody has listened, I just want to go to sleep and not wake up."
Mick, head in hands, tries to reassure her.
"I
know that feeling," says Mick, "but there is a light that is stronger
than the darkness...
"I just don't want to live, Mick, I'm in a dark tunnel and can't get out," says the woman.
He pleads with her. "There's always hope..."
Mick wants others who have had troubles to find hope - just like he has. In his 20s, Mick was a drug dealer consumed by cocaine and violence. He has now found faith and feeds the poor at his Church On The Street in Burnley, UK.
Believing There Is A Light At The End Of The Tunnel
A notable proponent of believing in the light at the end of the tunnel was the late James Stockdale, former US vice presidential candidate, naval commander and prisoner of war during the America-Vietnam war and who survived 8 years of imprisonment and torture.
Stockdale had an unshakeable faith that he would eventually, one day, be released and return home to his family:
“I never lost faith in the end of the story. I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”
But Admiral Stockton balanced his faith in the light at the end of his tunnel with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of his everyday reality as prisoner of war.
Stockton had no place for optimism:
“The optimists... Oh, they were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart..."
"You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end — which you can never afford to lose — with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be."
This balance between realism and hope in a dire situation has become known as The Stockdale Paradox.
The UK journalist, broadcaster and Rector Giles Fraser echoes this point:
But What About Those Of Us Who Travel Most Of Our Way To Heaven By Night...
Admiral James Stockton and the Rev Giles Fraser are both men of faith
Stockton was a believer in Stoicism and a keen follower of Epitetus and Fraser is a believer in Christianity.
What about those of us of little or no faith?
What about those of us who feel that we have been so let down by life that faith in anything is just a chimera, an illusion, a wisp of smoke on the breeze...?
I want to offer a perspective that is grounded in my own experience. I am experiencing intractable problems that I have lived with for over 20 years and that from time to time cause me to feel so full of despair and shame at my inability to resolve them that I don't want to carry on.
Let me just make clear that I am very blessed in many areas of life and I am surrounded by supportive caring friends and family, and that thankfully I am not depressive. I also know that compared with so many I lead a privileged life.
But nevertheless, the attrition factor of the constant keeping on keeping on sometimes feels too much, and the older I get the stronger this feeling becomes, but I have learned 3 things:
- That there maybe no single all encompassing solution that will allow me, with one jump, to be free and until there is, I face a continuum of experiences to each of which I have a choice as to how I will respond.
- It is the cumulative and compounding effect of these responses that will transform my situation.
- The most powerful key to seeing the light at the end of my personal tunnel is to shift my focus away from myself and my situation and look for opportunities to be the light to someone else.
This website is one such way. Every time I write and post another article, I hold in mind the hope that somewhere, sometime, someone will read it and it will become a light at the end of their personal tunnel of darkness.
Further Reading:
Next Article: Asking The Right Questions
Return from "Be The Light" to: Walking The Talk
LATEST ARTICLES
-
How To Live In A Participatory Universe
What good is a universe without somebody around to look at it? What Conclusions Can We Draw About Living In A Participatory Universe? The inescapable conclusion is that the world and the universe (wit… -
4 Keys To Working With The Energy Of Life
The journey home to the energy of life does not consist in arriving at a new destination it is a coming home to one’s self. [1] How are you feeling, what is your dominant emotion right now? [2] Where… -
How To Deal With The Challenges Of Playing The Long Game
You have to be willing to suffer today in order to reap enormous rewards tomorrow. The long game is so hard to play because it involves taking a series of very small steps, that people rarely see, per… -
A Message For The New Year
The outcomes that you experience are determined by your responses to the events in your life. 2 questions for you: [1] Have you made that fundamental connection between response and outcome? [2] Have… -
If You Don't Take Care Of You, Who Will?
How To Build Self Esteem In my early life and until my early twenties I suffered from a deep inferiority complex and low self esteem. Forty years later and, said in sincerity and with humility, I have… -
Pay Attention To What Bothers Other People About You
How To Develop Self Awareness Self awareness is how you consciously know and understand your own character, feelings, motives, and desires. In practical terms self awareness means: looking for pattern… -
Be The Light At The End Of Someone Else's Tunnel
What does it mean to Be the Light?
"I can't cope with life, I just don't want to live any more," says a woman's softly spoken voice. "Nobody has listened, I just want to go to sleep and not wake up."… -
Asking The Right Questions - How To Avoid Wonky Thinking
The human brain is hardwired to deal with immediate threats but in the modern world we live in a delayed benefit environment. One of the major points of focus on this site is learning how to think and… -
Learn How To Benefit From The Fat Tail Fractal Factor
Less than 1% of your efforts and resources can deliver over 50% of your results. Put simply, the fat tail fractal factor is a statistician's way of saying that less than 1% of your efforts and resour… -
Dunbar's Number, More In Common And The Narcissism of Minor Differences
A Reflection On Human Perversity. Dunbar's number has become an urban myth. It is an estimate of the number of people that we are allegedly hardwired to be to able to maintain stable and meaningful r… -
Give Thanks In Everything - Respond Don't React!
This is about responding to what happens not reacting to it. To give thanks in everything involves a seismic shift in perspective that can appear illogical and at best counter-intuitive, and at worst… -
Recognising Limbo As A Stage Of Transition
Limbo is transformed when you use it as an opportunity to do what you've long needed to do. Limbo is a situation in which nothing happens or changes for a long period of time, and it is difficult to m… -
On Becoming The Ferryman
The art of living is knowing how to make use of suffering. The traditional life of The Ferryman is all about transporting passengers from one side of a river or estuary to the other. He is needed wher… -
Things Of The Spirit
We are more than our bodies, and belong to more than just this earth. True wisdom lies in seeing the bigger picture, and fully living in a world that we know experientially to be intimately interconne… -
Mind Games & How To Free Yourself From Them
Don't give 100 percent of your attention to the external world and to your mind. Keep some within. This morning was the beginning of a not-so-good day. I sat down first thing with my early morning cup… -
Just Do It - A Call To Action And Getting Started
"Just Do It" has been popularised by Nike who have had it as a trademark since 1988 and like all successful promotional ideas it is one of those phrases that can mean whatever you want it to mean. In… -
Self Dialogue - Dealing With Your Many Selves
The key to effective self dialogue is to have tools, techniques and resources that work with all levels of your mind. This simple self-facilitated technique - or practice - that I am going to share wi… -
The Transformative Power Of Acceptance
There is one word in amongst the 400,000 words on this site that does have the power to change you and to transform your life - if you choose to act upon it. That word is acceptance. The power of acc… -
Stop Thinking
Discover The Benefits Of Having Space In Your Mind Can you stop thinking? According to Zen Buddhist priest Shunmyo Masuno the art of not thinking about anything is not easy to achieve. Even practising…