How To Build Self Confidence

What Is Holding You Back From Pursuing Your Dreams?


How To Build Self Confidence
What Is Holding You Back From Pursuing Your Dreams? Graphic of a figure climbing on clouds towards a golden rainbow.

How To Build Self Confidence - Setting The Scene

Before we address the  question of how to build self confidence, let's define what we mean by self confidence and highlight the distinction between that and self esteem.

Self esteem is based on value. Your self esteem is grounded in how you value and respect yourself.

Whereas, self confidence is based on ability. Your self confidence is all about your level of trust, faith and belief in your abilities [your power] and capabilities [your potential].

There is a deeper question that lies behind the question of HOW you build self confidence and that is WHY do you need to build self confidence?


What is holding you back from pursuing your dreams?

My honest answer to that question is that I spent many years of my life not living to my full potential because of fear.

This was primarily fear of failure, but also fear of what others may think, fear that I was not good enough, and fear of "not being ready yet".

What do you need to do, to overcome whatever it is that is holding you back?








[1] How To Build Self Confidence By Building On What You're Good At

Success

I recall when one of my children was at primary school, her head teacher commenting positively on her academic performance, described how she how she had got what he called  "winner's wind". 

That is to say she had enjoyed an initial measure of academic success which would give her sufficient confidence to improve her performance next time and thus fuel further success.

Fast forward 30 years, and she is now a doctor of clinical psychology and holds two Master's degrees and a Graduate degree. Clearly, he had a good point!

So, if you are experiencing a lack of self-confidence, what steps do you need to take to develop your own personal "winner's wind"?

What successes do you already have that you can build on?

Everyone has strengths and talents. What are yours? Recognising what you’re good at, and trying to build on those things, will help you to build confidence in your own abilities.










[2] How To Build Self Confidence By Managing Your Thoughts

You are not your thoughts

In my experience, a significant component of the power of any success strategy lies in the expectation that you will achieve your goal or objective.

Therefore, whatever you expect of yourself  sets the limit of what is possible for you. To quote Henry Ford:

"If you believe that you can do a thing, or if you believe you cannot, in either case, you are right."

We invariably rise [or sink] to the limits of our own expectations in life.

As you focus on how to build self confidence you need to be very aware of the internal dialogue, the self-talk , that's happening in your head.

There is a direct causal link between how you think about a situation, the words you use to articulate those thoughts, the energetic state associated with those words, and the results you experience.

People who are confident and successful, in any sphere of life, develop an ability to monitor and reshape their own thoughts:

  • They are vigilant and self aware of their own negative self-talk and replace it with positive and affirming messages of success and achievement.
  • Having accepted full responsibility for the choices they make and the thoughts they think, they consciously think in a positive way.

So if you want to be self confident, start thinking of yourself that way.

I can recall a situation in my own life when I unconsciously resisted looking inside myself to make some personal changes.

I waited for things to change “out there” so that I could feel better and build on that external change, until eventually I came to the realisation:

I had to feel better for things to change.









[3] How To Build Self Confidence By Having A Clear Point Of Focus on What You DO Want

What is your point of focus?

Every single thought that you have, and especially the underlying energetic state associated with that thought, is influencing your life.

It’s either helping you or hindering you.

Your internal energetic states, your external behaviours, and therefore your results in life, are the direct result of your point of focus.

Over time, what you focus your mind on becomes your reality.

Your primary point of focus is a binary choice and the result of that choice is critical to your self confidence.

You can either focus on what you want and what you want to move toward and this will build your self confidence.

Alternatively, you can focus on what you don't want, what you want to avoid, what you are afraid of, and this will undermine and weaken your self confidence.

6 Key Pointers To Help Your Point Of Focus & Build Your Self Confidence.









[4] How To Build Self Confidence By Identifying Your Core Desire

What is your core desire?

If you want to achieve success in any area of your life then there is one very basic and powerful way to do this. It is easy to understand and is fundamental to your nature.

This is the way that people in all walks of life have achieved success from the beginning of time.

It is the building block upon which all success is built and the rocket fuel that powers it.

To accomplish any success in life, you must identify accurately what it is that you hunger for, thirst for and long for.

Imagine you were lost in a desert and you soon become hot and thirsty. You would do or give just about anything to get a drink of cool, clear water.

This overpowering thirst is what we refer to as a "Core Desire".

When you are fueled by the conquering force of your core desire you build self confidence automatically.

3 Key Steps To Building Self Confidence By Identifying The Conquering Force Of Your Core Desire








Further Reading:

The Confident Mind


Next Article:

Your Secret For Success

Return from: How To "Build Self Confidence"

to: Renewing Your Mind

Or to: Walking The Talk

Contact me









English Chinese (Traditional) Russian French German Italian Spanish Vietnamese


LATEST ARTICLES

  1. How To Influence Without Authority - 6 Key Tips

    The secret to how to influence without authority is that you get what you really want by giving other people what they really want. We live in an interconnected world and knowing how to influence with…

    Read More

  2. Change Questions To Change Your Outcomes

    Asking The Right Questions Is Critical For A Successful Change. Every time we initiate a significant change - whether in our personal life or in an organisation - we will most likely over-estimate our…

    Read More

  3. Group Culture - The Invisible Software That Rules Your Life

    Group culture is: "How we do things round here". We like to see ourselves as free agents making our own choices and living authentically but the reality is that The Matrix has many layers and we are u…

    Read More

  4. Why Getting From A to B Is Not Aways A Straight Line

    In circumstances of significant change, the progress from A to B will not be in a straight line. We run our lives largely on auto-pilot. In most circumstances your experience of getting from A to B is…

    Read More

  5. The Art Of Persuasion Planning For Success - Here's How To Do It!

    To be successful in the art of persuasion you must ensure that certain things happen. To be successful in the art of persuasion you must establish a framework of what has to happen to get you to that…

    Read More

  6. The Art Of Persuasion Advanced Communication Skills - Gaining Buyin

    Create The Environment Where They Want To Buyin to Your Proposal In order to build the win-win you have to uncover what it is that the other person really wants or needs, and to do that you have to as…

    Read More

  7. The Art Of Persuasion The One Fundamental Principle - Create A Win-Win

    The art of persuasion is based on the simple idea that you get what you want by enabling the other party to get what they want. Being a nice friendly person with good inter-personal skills may be a go…

    Read More

  8. Communication Persuasion And Change - Key Skills To Survive & Succeed

    It's not the strongest that survive, nor the most intelligent, but those who are most responsive to change, the most persuasive, and the best communicators. We are living in an age of unprecedented ch…

    Read More

  9. The Eisenhower Box - What Is Important Is Seldom Urgent

    What Is Important Is Seldom Urgent And What Is Urgent Is Seldom Important. The Eisenhower Box is a time management and decision-making model devised by President Dwight Eisenhower to help him prioriti…

    Read More

  10. Zen Enlightenment [Satori] - The Stink Of Zen

    Lost In Our Delusions About Enlightenment. There is something in human nature - a desire to glamorise, sanctify, objectify and idolise – that elevates people who have offered deep insights to the huma…

    Read More

  11. 5 Zen Mindsets For Mastery - In Any Area Of Your Life

    The Wisdom Of A Person Who Masters In Any Art Is Reflected In Their Every Attitude. The state and quality of your mind has a very large bearing on the quality of your performance in any area of life t…

    Read More

  12. Dealing With The Toxicity Of Online Dating - 6 Key Tips From A Clinical Psychologist

    Toxicity Is The Price Tag Of Accessibility. In the early days of online dating, users were vetted and had to go through a registration process and agree to comply with a code of conduct designed to en…

    Read More

  13. Why Understanding Ergodicity Is Critical To Your Long Term Survival

    How Not To Be Fooled By Randomness. Ergodicity is an ugly word from the world of mathematics. It is an umbrella term for two sets of conditions of probability and outcome. These two conditions form th…

    Read More

  14. Dealing With Imposter Syndrome - Ego Is The Enemy

    How You Frame A Situation Has A Profound Impact On How You Respond To It Emotionally. Imposter syndrome is a psycho-emotional experience of a fear of being found out as incompetent despite ongoing evi…

    Read More

  15. The Challenges Of The Road Less Traveled

    Issues You'll Face When Playing The Long Game. The challenges of the road less traveled is loosely based around the phrase popularised by M.Scott Peck with his book "The Road Less Traveled". This arti…

    Read More

  16. How To Benefit From the Unseen Margins - 5 Key Tips For Success

    These Unseen Margins Can Have A Very Dramatic Impact On Your Life. To understand how to benefit from the unseen margins we need to start by understanding what they are and where we find them. In this…

    Read More

  17. The Art Of Thinking Clearly - How To Do More Than Just Survive And Reproduce

    3 Key Tips The art of thinking clearly starts with the sobering realisation that our brains are designed to achieve two things: Survival and Reproduction! 98% of our thinking is unconscious, automatic…

    Read More

  18. Algorithms to Live By - 5 Useful Rules Of Thumb

    5 Useful Heuristics From Algorithms To Live By The thesis of the book "Algorithms to Live By" is that algorithms developed for computers can be used by people in everyday life in a wide range of situa…

    Read More

  19. Finding Signal In The Noise - How To Avoid The Noise Bottleneck

    The Art Of Being Wise Is The Art Of Knowing What To Overlook. We are blessed and cursed to live in the digital age. We have access to more information than we can possibly handle yet we struggle to fi…

    Read More

  20. The Checklist Manifesto - Your Personal Safety Net

    A Checklist Is A Safety Net That Encourages Better Results And Prevents Avoidable Mistakes. The volume and complexity of what we know has exceeded our individual ability to deliver its benefits correc…

    Read More

  21. How Not To Be Stupid - 4 Key Tips

    How To Avoid The 7 Causes Of Everyday Stupidity. We are all capable of everyday stupidity as we undertake routine tasks in our business and working lives and also in our personal lives. This is not ab…

    Read More

  22. Beginners Mind And The Voice Of Experience

    Only The Experts Survived Evolution. "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few." These are the famous words of Shunryu Suzuki in "Zen Mind, Beginner's Min…

    Read More

  23. The Art Of Being Alone Is A Skill

    Let's Make Today A Good Day. You may not have chosen the condition of being alone, and it may have been imposed upon you by circumstances beyond your control, but your response to the situation is wit…

    Read More

  24. Intuition & Anxiety - Are There Angels Or Devils Calling Here?

    How To Tell The Difference Between Intuition and Anxiety. How do you know whether the voice of your intuition is real or just the product of your inner anxiety? We all struggle with these inner voices…

    Read More

  25. Like A Prayer - Life Is A Mystery

    It Isn't The Process Of Prayer That’s The Problem, It’s The Way It’s Framed. Regardless of what we feel about Madonna or her song the topic of prayer often arouses strong reactions. Usually, it is som…

    Read More

  26. Fear Of Missing Out - "I'll Have What She's Having!"

    We Follow The Herd - We Mimic Other People's Choices. Fear of missing out - or FOMO as it is popularly referred to - is the feeling that everyone else in your peer group is having much more fun than y…

    Read More

  27. Free - Self Improvement Resources

    Exercising Balance and Discernment. I have just updated these self improvement resources with a number of additional sources of material that are practical and can help you change your life. Check it…

    Read More

  28. Your Higher Self - Your Hardwired Portal To The Universe

    This Is The You That Is Beyond Your Thinking Mind. This is the big you, the transcendent you, the you that is often referred to as your higher consciousness or higher self. This is the you that acts a…

    Read More

  29. The Power Of Gratitude - It's Good For You!

    Gratitude And Attitude Are Not Challenges, They Are Choices. The power of gratitude quite simply is that it is good for you! Many of us were raised by parents who instilled in us the social niceties o…

    Read More

  30. Living With Your Thoughts - 4 Tools To Help You

    Develop A Good Working Relationship With Your Mind. The first step in living with your thoughts is to understand and develop a good working relationship with all areas of your mind. The key to develop…

    Read More



Get new posts by email:









Zen-Tools.Net





Support This Site