The key to effective self dialogue is to have tools, techniques and resources that work with all levels of your mind.
This simple self-facilitated technique that I am going to share with you here will enable you to do two things:
The Many Selves
When you refer to "myself" you are not referring to one singular entity but a very complex amalgam of many different aspects of your self sometimes referred to as the internal family of selves -also known as "sub-personalities".
Your selves are often in conflict with reach other, and this is the underlying reason why you can’t keep your New Year’s Resolutions, and why you are largely immune or resistant to personal change.
This is why the so-called "self help" industry is so large and why so many of us spend so much money and time on all this but generally don’t change.
The Background To Self Dialogue
The term Self Dialogue can be used in a general sense to describe an internal conversation within yourself between different elements or perspectives within your mind.
The process that I use, and that I refer to as Self Dialogue, is adapted from Voice Dialogue, a Jungian therapeutic technique
developed by Drs Hal and Sidra Stone, and the Big Mind process developed by US Zen Master Genpo Roshi to integrate the insights and processes of Voice Dialogue with the Zen
tradition.
From a therapeutic perspective the Stones came to see that an over-identification with some selves and rejection of other selves creates imbalances that are often reflected in our resistance to certain situations and certain people and especially to change.
Having worked with the Stones over a number of years, Genpo Roshi came to realise that their process of accessing and giving voice to the selves (especially the denied or disowned selves) could be adapted to allow non Zen practitioners access to transcendent states and to do so more on less on demand.
Disclaimer: I am not a therapist nor am I a counselor or trained in anyway to offer training or advice on these or any related therapies or techniques. This article is a sharing of my understanding and experiences for your interest only.
Controlling Self Observing Self Aware-Facilitator Self Higher Self Opposite Selves There two key points here: [1] There are multiple selves - literally hundreds or thousands of selves, probably unlimited selves. [2] For each and every self there is an opposite self. Self Dialogue - The Key Players
Do not over think any of this.
Treat your selves as real people not inanimate objects.
Facilitator Self is going to run this process
Facilitator Self asks each self that wants to speak the following questions:
Facilitator Self is running this process exactly as it would if it was dealing with a group of physical people enacting these roles.
[1] How I reduced extreme stress using the Self Dialogue process
About 10 years ago I went through a very difficult time.
I was
experiencing a lot of uncertainty, stress and confusion in my life related to
some business and financial issues.
Here is how I applied the Self Dialogue process:
[Side note – asking the ego’s permission and then giving it a task to do works well as it basically gets the ego out of the way.]
[Side note – this only process works when we just go for it – just do it – with no conscious thinking about it – we just go with whatever comes up and say it without any filtering, analysis or internal commentary. When we speak as that voice – we (temporarily) become that voice.]
[2] How I instantly stopped smoking using the Self Dialogue process
[Side note – for every self there is always an opposite self.]
[Side note – this is important – we never seek to deny or suppress a negative or "unhelpful" self we simply "power up" it’s positive opposite self. So in this case I will always have a smoking self and an addicted self but they are now far less powerful than my non-smoking self.]
Further Reading:
Next Article: The Transformative Power of Acceptance
Return from "Self Dialogue" to: Walking The Talk
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