Dropping The “How?”
I was walking on the beach this morning enjoying the sound of the sea lapping on the shingle. My mind was in neutral and I was feeling gratitude for such a beautiful morning and for the blessing of living by the coast.
My thoughts drifted and wandered to the realisation of one my most cherished objectives, and then to the business deal that could make that possible… and then I was mulling over how this business deal may or may not succeed.
My thoughts then drifted further into analysis of how much this mattered to me and all the good things that depended on getting the result I wanted. I thought of how a successful outcome would enable to help a particular person I have been mentoring.
Then I started getting frustrated: “…why is this taking so long...I can’t see it happening…?”
Within only a few short minutes my peace of mind and present moment awareness was shattered and I was feeling frustrated, anxious and resentful…
The ego has a very clear idea of how things ought to be.
When reality doesn’t match that image and expectation the result is frustration and pain.
It’s My Life And I’ll Do It My Way
Our minds are automatically programmed to create what we perceive to be MY life and it comes all nicely packaged up with clear boundaries that define my sense of who I am and how things are.
But who is this “I”?
If you were to look deep enough and persist with the question "Who am I?" you will find that there is nothing there!
This is not an idea or a theory it is an experienced reality. I am speaking from direct personal experience, having been down this line of enquiry myself, as a by-product of some extremely testing situations in the past.
When you look deep enough all you will find is a large amount of ideas about "me", thoughts that "I" have, concepts, ideas and images of "me" - all the stuff that makes up "how I see myself" and that defines "my self-image".
When all these layers of who "I am" are peeled away there is nothing there except an operating system of largely automatically pre-programmed thoughts and responses that runs the bag of bones that we like to think of as "me".
Metaphorically, think of the ego as “Windows 10" with “self” awareness!
Seeing Is Believing, Or Is It?
Like the characters in "The Matrix" we are fooled by the illusion that what we see is how things really are.
Why? Because this is the “Windows 10” default setting, which:
* See things “out there”
* Sees separateness
* Sees a world of circumstances and events and situations
* Is bound by time and sees a past and future.
* Sees the present moment – now - through the lens of its own inner map of reality which it links up seamlessly with its memory of a past and it conjecture and projection of a future
Thus we are fooled by our thoughts, we are trapped in our thoughts, and we can’t think our way out of this one.
There really is no way out via the conventional functioning of the human mind.
We confuse the map with the territory. This is our default setting.
But, as we become more mindful, in the gaps between our thoughts, we experience that we are far more than the limited and conventional sense of self.
We are not “Windows 10”!
As we experience this we realise that we are spiritual or energetic beings and that we really are all interconnected and part of one all-embracing everything.
The walls of separation fall away.
”Windows 10” is not an energetic being and its intention, its expectation, is linked to circumstance.
A Personal Illustration
In an earlier article I shared a personal experience of this where I was grounded in, and fixated on, circumstances.
I was looking outside of myself to circumstances seeking evidence of how I could believe that my intentions were possible.
Eventually I realised that belief, or expectation, was an internal state, and that my experience of life was ultimately dependent on that.
Don’t keep looking outside of yourself, to circumstances, to find evidence of HOW it might all work out.
It starts within you. You have to feel it first and then things will change and your intentions will be realised.
Letting go and dropping the “How?” is hard for the ego because letting go is an act of surrender – of giving up control.
Also it is a matter of temperament. Those of who see ourselves as the leader and in charge can find it particularly difficult. Often we can only really let go when we reach a stage of desperation.
Alternatively, we can use the following less dramatic and less stressful two-step approach:
The cognitive context:
* Remind yourself that:
- We live in and are part of an energetic universe
- What it means to be a person connected to the field of intention
- We live in and are part of a participatory universe
* Make peace with the present moment by accepting what is.
* Give thanks and express gratitude for what is - regardless of circumstances.
* Connect with your higher self/ higher power/spiritual self by the advanced practice of gratitude.
* See the end result and the outcome you seek and feel it, and say thank you.
* Finally, and most importantly - The GESTATION PERIOD - understand it, believe in it, accept it and persist through it.
“Stop Worrying About How It’s Going To Happen And Start Believing That It Will”
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