Emotional Intelligence
Reason Leads To Conclusions, Emotion Leads To Action
Emotions Get In The Way Or Get You On The Way
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
The concept of "Emotional Intelligence" also referred to as "Emotional Quotient" [EQ] rose to prominence as a behavioural model with Daniel Goleman's 1995 book of the same name.
The original theory was developed twenty years previously by psychologists Howard Gardner , Peter Salovey and John 'Jack' Mayer.
The EQ model suggests that the conventional measure of intelligence [IQ], is too narrow and that there are wider areas of the emotional dimension that have a significant bearing on how we behave and perform in social and work situations, and thus on our success.
Goleman defines emotional intelligence as:
"The capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships"
He proposes that this is a learned capability. In other words, unlike the traditional measures of intellectual intelligence which cannot be learned, we can learn, practise and develop competencies that will expand and increase our emotional intelligence.
The 2 key themes
- Understanding yourself, your goals, intentions, responses, behaviour and all
- Understanding others, and their feelings
Goleman identified five key competencies of EQ as:
- Knowing your emotions.
- Managing your own emotions.
- Motivating yourself.
- Recognising and understanding other people's emotions.
- Managing relationships, i.e. managing the emotions of others.
Emotional Intelligence - Overview by Daniel Goleman
Emotional Intelligence - The 5 Competencies
Personal Skills
This is about how we manage ourselves, for example: optimism, persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks
- Self-awareness - Knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources and intuitions
# Emotional awareness - Recognizing one’s emotions and their effects
# Accurate self-assessment - Knowing one’s strengths and limits
# Self-confidence - A strong sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities - Self-regulation - Managing one’s internal impulses and resources
# Self-Control - Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check
# Trustworthiness - Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity
# Conscientiousness - Taking the responsibility for personal performance
# Adaptability - Flexibility in handling change
# Innovation - Being comfortable with novel ideas, approaches, and new information - Motivation - Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate
reaching goals
# Achievement drive - Striving to improve or meet a standard of excellence
# Commitment - Aligning with goals of the group or organization
# Initiative - Readiness to act on opportunities
Social skills
This is about how how we manage relationships, for example:team capabilities, creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals
- Empathy - Awareness of other’s feelings, needs, and concerns
# Understanding others Sensing others’ feelings and perspectives, and taking active interest in
their concerns
# Developing others - Sensing others’ development needs and bolstering their abilities
# Service orientation - Anticipating, recognizing, and meeting customers’ needs
# Leveraging diversity - Cultivating opportunities through different kinds of people
# Political awareness - Reading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships - Social Skills - Adeptness and inducing desirable responses in
others
# Influence - Wielding effective tactics for persuasion
# Communication - Listening openly and sending convincing messages
# Conflict management - Negotiating and resolving disagreements
# Leadership - Inspiring and guiding individuals and groups
# Change catalyst - Initiating or managing change
# Building bonds - Nurturing instrumental relationships
# Collaboration & cooperation - Working with others toward shared goals
How To Use Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence can be applied in many different areas of your life, and it will include some of the following behaviours:
- Accepting criticism and responsibility
- Not dwelling on mistakes and failures and moving on
- Saying No when it is appropriate and you need to
- Appropriately displaying empathy and sharing your feelings
- Building win-win solutions that benefit all parties
- Listening mindfully
- Self knowledge about your own motives and drivers
- Non judgemental in your assessments of others' behaviours
The 7 Habits Of Emotionally Intelligent People
Resources
Emotional Intelligence - Review [slide presentation]
Emotional Intelligence - Assessments
Emotional Intelligence - Book Review
Return to: Managing Personal Change
LATEST ARTICLES
-
Your Relationship With Failure Is Critical To Your Success
Just Because You Have A Spectacular Failure Doesn’t Mean The Game Is Over. The thought that you could fail can really slow you down. But the problem is not the failure, the problem is your relationshi… -
Lost, Stuck & Going Round In Circles?
Are You Lost In Transition? To be in an alien North African city, late in the evening, in the dark, completely lost in transition from the main market square back to the obscure location of our Riad… -
Seeing Is Believing Or Is It?
Do You Believe What You See Or Do You See What You Believe? Like the characters in "The Matrix" we are fooled by the illusion that what we see is how things really are. Why? Because this is the mind's… -
What Difference Did You Make?
What Impact Will You Leave In The Lives Of Others? If you knew you were going to die tonight and you were given a few minutes to reflect before that happened, what would you say was the meaning of yo… -
Compassion Is Selfish And You Need It
If You Want Others To Be Happy, Practice Compassion. If You Want To Be Happy, Practice Compassion. Compassion is derived from the Latin words "com pati" meaning to suffer with. It has been defined as… -
The Placebo Effect - 2 Key Takeaways
The Power Of Expectation Of An Outcome Regardless Of The Lack Of Any Substance To That Expectation. Traditionally, the placebo effect occurs when false, or dummy, treatments of inert substances [that… -
The Red Pill
This Is What Will Happen After You Take It.
"This is your last chance," rebel leader Morpheus tells Neo, holding a coloured pill in each hand. “You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in y… -
Transformational Life Hacks
This Has To Be One Of The Best Ways For Living The Best Life You Can Possibly Live. An online search on life hacks will invariably provide you with multiple links to ways of increasing your productivi… -
This Too Shall Pass
The Blessing And The Curse Of Impermanence. There is a story of a king who sought wisdom. Eventually he heard of a man living in a remote part of the kingdom who had a reputation for great wisdom. The… -
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
The Stories That We Tell Ourselves Are A Matter Of Choice. The stories we tell ourselves form the backcloth and the tapestry of our lives. These narratives shape and define our sense of self and how a… -
Who Do You Trust?
Trust Is A Choice And It Creates Your Reality. Nothing in life is permanent and nothing lasts forever. Every relationship ends in tears. Somebody leaves or somebody dies. This is how things are. This… -
How Positive Asymmetry Can Transform Your Life
Finding This Hidden Value Is The Key To A Huge Upside. Most of us spend our lives working to linear rules where there is an equal relationship between effort and result. Work hard you get a result. Wo… -
5 Tips For Developing A Growth Mindset
How To Be There When Preparation Meets Opportunity. The growth mindset holds the core belief that your intelligence and personality is something you can develop and that you can expand and grow. The p… -
Lost For Words? Experience Truth
If you can't think of the right thing to say, say nothing.
The concepts we employ, the categorizations we apply and the words we choose and use to articulate a direct experience put us in a double bi… -
Belief - A Terrible Tyrant Or An Empowering Servant
To Believe Or Not To Believe - That Is The Question. Nothing has inflicted more suffering on humanity than its beliefs and dogmas. The religious and cultural beliefs that sanction and allow or impose… -
How To Avoid Herd Mentality
How To Stay Far From The Madding Crowd. Herd mentality describes how we make decisions based on what everyone else is thinking and doing. It is also known as a mob or crowd mentality. We follow the he… -
Are You Trying To Teach A Cat To Bark?
We Suffer Every Time We Believe A Thought That Argues With What Is. When your mind is perfectly clear, what is, is what you want. If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try… -
The Value Of Slack
Slack Is The Capacity To Effect Change And The Resource To Deal With The Unexpected. Many organizations are obsessed with efficiency and try to ensure that every resource is fully utilized to its full… -
6 Tips To Help You Stop Trying Too Hard
Less and less do you need to force things, until you arrive at non-action. We are brought up to believe that we get what we want in life as a result of what we do, by the actions that we take, that ha… -
Your Point Of Focus
Is It Helping You Or Hindering You? Your point of focus is the central point of your attention. Your point of focus is a binary choice and the result of that choice is critical to your happiness, your… -
Your Secret For Success
To accomplish any success in life, you must identify accurately what it is that you hunger for, thirst for and long for. The purpose of this article is to look at the foundation of the secret for succ… -
Can You Stop Thinking?
Discover The Joy Of A Quiet Mind Can you stop thinking? According to Zen Buddhist priest Shunmyo Masuno the art of not thinking about anything is not easy to achieve. Even practising monks find it dif… -
How To Build Self Confidence
What Is Holding You Back From Pursuing Your Dreams? Your self confidence is based on ability. Your self confidence is all about your level of trust, faith and belief in your abilities [your power] and… -
How To Overcome Fear And Perform Powerfully
Learning how to overcome fear and perform powerfully is a skill that we all need to acquire as fear of failure affects most of us at some point in our lives. Whilst it is natural to feel a level of fe… -
Dance Into The Light And Stop Chasing Your Tail
You are creating hell on earth when you are too subsumed within your underlying and deeply embedded negative energetic states. To counter your dissatisfactions and misery you initially go unconscious… -
Change Your Language To Change How You Feel
How you mentally characterize a situation has a profound impact on how you respond to it emotionally. There is a direct causal link between how you think about a situation, the words you use to articu… -
How To Live In A Participatory Universe
What good is a universe without somebody around to look at it? What Conclusions Can We Draw About Living In A Participatory Universe? The inescapable conclusion is that the world and the universe (wit… -
4 Keys To Working With The Energy Of Life
The journey home to the energy of life does not consist in arriving at a new destination it is a coming home to one’s self. [1] How are you feeling, what is your dominant emotion right now? [2] Where… -
How To Deal With The Challenges Of Playing The Long Game
You have to be willing to suffer today in order to reap enormous rewards tomorrow. The long game is so hard to play because it involves taking a series of very small steps, that people rarely see, per… -
If You Don't Take Care Of You, Who Will?
How To Build Self Esteem In my early life and until my early twenties I suffered from a deep inferiority complex and low self esteem. Forty years later and, said in sincerity and with humility, I have…