"The Gap and The Gain" is the big idea of a book by executive coach Dan Sullivan and psychologist Dan Hardy about how we measure our progress in the pursuit of big goals and the effect that has on our happiness and overall well being.
Dan Sullivan's focus is on high achieving business people which is not surprising given that he is a very successful executive coach charging very high fees for his services.
I am writing about this is because the basic idea of the gap and the gain has a far wider application than executive coaching and touches on something that affects many, if not most, of us.
Goal oriented people - which is most of us - have an ideal that they are moving towards. This ideal is a moving target that is always out of reach and their measurement of progress always shows that they have fallen short. Their mindset is one of "stuck in seeking". This is the gap.
In contrast, happy contented people measure their progress against their former selves and where they have come from. This is the gain.
You can see this illustrated in the schematic above.
The Gap
The Gain
Courtesy of Dan Sullivan and "The Strategic Coach" you can download this free illustrated ebook presentation of The Gap And The Gain.
The fundamental problem is that we are hardwired to the gap as our default setting.
Why? Because this is the function and purpose of our amygdala aka "The Lizard Brain" which is responsible for our instinctive drives.
As Seth Godwin pithily put it:
"The lizard brain is hungry, scared, angry and horny"!
The lizard brain doesn't think reflectively it reacts automatically to what it sees in front of it. The result of these primal drives is that:
All of this gets further compounded as our egos get involved and we self identify with our measurements.
Before long we are in downward spiral of anxiety and suffering and we become controlled by our thoughts on the ferris wheel of suffering.
A Model For Maintaining An Ideal And Measuring Progress
What has become known "The Stockdale Paradox" offers us a model for maintaining an ideal and measuring progress.
It's named after the late James Stockdale, former vice presidential candidate, naval commander and prisoner of war during the American-Vietnam war. It is the strategy that enabled Stockdale to survive 8 years of imprisonment and torture.
The usual context of these principles is in times of prolonged and seemingly never-ending hardship, set-backs, suffering and distress.
But in my view this is an apt model for the gap and gain concept:
What Progress To Measure And When?
We have already established that:
There is a further measure of progress that deals with the lizard brain and that give the ego something useful to do and shuts it up, and that is:
[1] Focus on The Process Not The Ideal
Shift your focus from the long-term ideal to a daily routine that will realise that ideal.
As James Clear puts in The Evolution of Anxiety:
The key insight that makes this strategy work is making sure your daily routine both rewards you right away - immediate return - and resolves your future problems - delayed return."
[2] Measure The Small Steps In The Process
Without measurement you have no feedback.
James Clear:"The first thing you can do is measure something:
The act of measurement takes an unknown quantity and makes it known.
Recommended Reading:
The Stockdale Paradox - How To Deal With The Attrition Factor
Delayed Gratification - Your Brain Is Not Evolved To Wait
How To Benefit From The Unseen Margins - 5 Key Tips For Success
The Long Game - Delay Gains Now To Get More Later
The Challenges Of The Road Less Traveled - When Playing The Long Game
Return from "The Gap And The Gain" to : Mental Models
- What if everything we think…
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