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Your Relationship With Failure Is Critical To Your Success

Just Because You Have A Spectacular Failure Doesn’t Mean The Game Is Over.

The thought that you could fail can really slow you down.

But the problem is not the failure, the problem is your relationship with failure.

And what do you do after a big failure?

You shrug it off and get right back to work the next day working on your goals.

Acknowledge and fix problems one by one. Keep learning and adapting.

Continue reading "Your Relationship With Failure Is Critical To Your Success"

Lost, Stuck & Going Round In Circles?

Are You Lost In Transition?

To be in an alien North African city, late in the evening, in the dark, completely lost in transition from the main market square back to the obscure location of our Riad, with no tools for navigation, and finding it impossible to communicate with the locals, was frightening.

That experience of being lost in transition in the Medina, in Marrakesh, illustrates the locational disorientation we can experience when we experience an unexpected change in circumstances, and especially a change that is imposed upon and that leads to hard times.

Transition is a journey - a psychological and emotional journey - and here's how to cope with it.

Continue reading "Lost, Stuck & Going Round In Circles?"

Seeing Is Believing Or Is It?

Do You Believe What You See Or Do You See What You Believe?

Like the characters in "The Matrix" we are fooled by the illusion that what we see is how things really are. Why? Because this is the mind's default setting. It sees:

- Things “out there”.
- A world of circumstances and events and situations.
- The present moment through the lens of its own inner map of reality which it links up seamlessly with its memory of a past and it conjecture and projection of a future.

We confuse this inner map of reality with the world as it is.

Continue reading "Seeing Is Believing Or Is It?"

What Difference Did You Make?

What Impact Will You Leave In The Lives Of Others?

If you knew you were going to die tonight and you were given a few minutes to reflect before that happened, what would you say was the meaning of your life?

Generativity occurs when a person shifts his/her energy to care for a change which will help the generations to come.

It can also be seen as ‘making your mark on the world’ by caring for others and accomplishing something beyond yourself for making this world a better place.

What difference will you make? What impact will you leave in the lives of others?

Continue reading "What Difference Did You Make?"

Compassion Is Selfish And You Need It

If You Want Others To Be Happy, Practice Compassion. If You Want To Be Happy, Practice Compassion.

Compassion is derived from the Latin words "com pati" meaning to suffer with.

It has been defined as an empathic understanding of a person's feelings, accompanied by altruism, or a desire to act on that person's behalf.

In practical terms it is when you relate to someone’s situation, and you want to help them. You see someone having a hard time, and you show up beside them and offer a helping hand.

There are some interesting personal benefits to be derived from the expression of compassion. Not only does the recipient benefit but so does the person who is giving compassion...

Continue reading "Compassion Is Selfish And You Need It"

The Placebo Effect - 2 Key Takeaways

The Power Of Expectation Of An Outcome Regardless Of The Lack Of Any Substance To That Expectation.

Traditionally, the placebo effect occurs when false, or dummy, treatments of inert substances [that appear to be real but aren't] are administered during trials on new drugs, and patients still see their symptoms improve.

About 1 in 3 people report that they are feeling better after they have received a placebo. However this has increased to 60% in certain recent drugs trials.

The power and the benefit of the placebo lies in how it makes people feel.

Continue reading "The Placebo Effect - 2 Key Takeaways"

The Red Pill

This Is What Will Happen After You Take It.

"This is your last chance," rebel leader Morpheus tells Neo, holding a coloured pill in each hand. “You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."

Taking the red pill is a symbolic action and a metaphor for an experience of enlightenment and transcendent awakening.

This article is describes my experience of what happens when you do.

Continue reading "The Red Pill"

Transformational Life Hacks

This Has To Be One Of The Best Ways For Living The Best Life You Can Possibly Live.

An online search on life hacks will invariably provide you with multiple links to ways of increasing your productivity and efficiency in many areas of life.

But in this article I want to raise your sights and share two simple-to-understand science based principles that when combined will, over-time, transform your health, wealth and happiness.

I will tell you what to do, how to do it, and why you most likely won't!

There are no gimmicks here and this is absolutely not about how to "get rich quick".

Continue reading "Transformational Life Hacks"

This Too Shall Pass

The Blessing And The Curse Of Impermanence.

There is a story of a king who sought wisdom. Eventually he heard of a man living in a remote part of the kingdom who had a reputation for great wisdom.

The king sent for this man and had him brought to court, and the king offered the man a great reward if he would share the secret to his wisdom. The man agreed and departed from the king’s presence.

He returned several weeks later and presented the king with a ring. The wise man counselled the king:

“Wear that ring that at all times and look at it frequently, and regardless of whether you are experiencing good fortune or adversity remind yourself that this too will pass…”

Continue reading "This Too Shall Pass"

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

The Stories That We Tell Ourselves Are A Matter Of Choice.

The stories we tell ourselves form the backcloth and the tapestry of our lives.

These narratives shape and define our sense of self and how and where we see ourselves fitting into the bigger picture of the circumstances of our life.

The stories that we tell ourselves also form the lens through which we interpret life. The effect of this is that we tend to see what we expect to see and life can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So choose wisely the stories that you tell yourself.

Continue reading "The Stories We Tell Ourselves"

Who Do You Trust?

Trust Is A Choice And It Creates Your Reality.

Nothing in life is permanent and nothing lasts forever.

Every relationship ends in tears.

Somebody leaves or somebody dies.

This is how things are.

This is the nature of things.

Nobody has the perfect life.

Who do you trust?

Continue reading "Who Do You Trust?"

How Positive Asymmetry Can Transform Your Life

Finding This Hidden Value Is The Key To A Huge Upside.

Most of us spend our lives working to linear rules where there is an equal relationship between effort and result. Work hard you get a result. Work harder you get a better result.

Live lived on these terms means that you only win by working harder than everyone else. But of course, the harder other people work, the harder you have to work just to stay in the same relative position.

The solution to this challenge is to work to non-linear rules. This involves finding a situation where the positive results of your efforts are very considerably amplified.

This is life lived in positive asymmetry - where you have a lot of upside and minimal downside.

Continue reading "How Positive Asymmetry Can Transform Your Life"

5 Tips For Developing A Growth Mindset

How To Be There When Preparation Meets Opportunity.

The growth mindset holds the core belief that your intelligence and personality is something you can develop and that you can expand and grow.

The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset.

This is the mindset that allows you to thrive during some of the most challenging times in your life.

Continue reading "5 Tips For Developing A Growth Mindset"

Lost For Words? Experience Truth

If you can't think of the right thing to say, say nothing.

The concepts we employ, the categorizations we apply and the words we choose and use to articulate a direct experience put us in a double bind, and it is this:

For all that we gain by being able to speak about an experience we lose a greater amount of the full meaning of that experience by speaking it.

Continue reading "Lost For Words? Experience Truth"

Belief - A Terrible Tyrant Or An Empowering Servant

To Believe Or Not To Believe - That Is The Question.

Nothing has inflicted more suffering on humanity than its beliefs and dogmas.

The religious and cultural beliefs that sanction and allow or impose suppression and subjugation of women's rights, the persecution of minorities, the criminalisation and killing of gay people, female genital mutilation, child marriage, honour killings... the list is endless and in all cases:

Believing themselves to be right, clinging to their beliefs, to the point of killing to defend their view of the rightness of their position.

Who would you be without that belief?

Continue reading "Belief - A Terrible Tyrant Or An Empowering Servant"

How To Avoid Herd Mentality

How To Stay Far From The Madding Crowd.

Herd mentality describes how we make decisions based on what everyone else is thinking and doing. It is also known as a mob or crowd mentality.

We follow the herd - and often without realizing it - we mimic other people's choices.

When we are uncertain about what's normal, we trust what others are doing as the most appropriate thing to do.

Here are 3 tips to help you protect yourself from herd mentality.

Continue reading "How To Avoid Herd Mentality"

Are You Trying To Teach A Cat To Bark?

We Suffer Every Time We Believe A Thought That Argues With What Is.

When your mind is perfectly clear, what is, is what you want.

If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark. You can try and try, and in the end the cat will look up at you and say, “Meow.”

Wanting reality to be different than it is - is hopeless.

Much of the stress that you feel is caused by arguing with what is. Here is an approach to help you address this.

Continue reading "Are You Trying To Teach A Cat To Bark?"

The Value Of Slack

Slack Is The Capacity To Effect Change And The Resource To Deal With The Unexpected.

Many organizations are obsessed with efficiency and try to ensure that every resource is fully utilized to its fullest capacity. These organizations usually have a culture where people are expected to work ridiculously long hours.

In our personal lives many of us are also obsessed with the chimera of maximum efficiency and stuff our schedules full of tasks that occupy every waking hour.

But this corporate and personal obsession with efficiency fails to understand that efficiency and effectiveness are not the same thing - we need slack.

Continue reading "The Value Of Slack"

6 Tips To Help You Stop Trying Too Hard

Less and less do you need to force things, until you arrive at non-action.

We are brought up to believe that we get what we want in life as a result of what we do, by the actions that we take, that hard work, is the key to a better life.

How do we know when you are "trying too hard"?

You cross that line when you have acquired and mastered the necessary skills to become unconsciously competent and your consistent and persistent activity in exercising those skills becomes counter-productive.

Continue reading "6 Tips To Help You Stop Trying Too Hard"

Your Point Of Focus

Is It Helping You Or Hindering You?

Your point of focus is the central point of your attention.

Your point of focus is a binary choice and the result of that choice is critical to your happiness, your inner peace, and your ability to create what you want in life.

You can either focus on what you want and what you want to move toward.

Or, you can focus on what you don't want, what you want to avoid, what you are afraid of, what you are worried about, and what you want to move away from.

Continue reading "Your Point Of Focus"

Your Secret For Success

To accomplish any success in life, you must identify accurately what it is that you hunger for, thirst for and long for.

The purpose of this article is to look at the foundation of the secret for success, in any area of your life.

There is one very basic and powerful factor. It is easy to understand and is fundamental to your nature.

It is the way that people in all walks of life have achieved success from the beginning of time.

It is the building block upon which all success is built and the rocket fuel that powers it...

Continue reading "Your Secret For Success"

Can You Stop Thinking?

Discover The Joy Of A Quiet Mind

Can you stop thinking? According to Zen Buddhist priest Shunmyo Masuno the art of not thinking about anything is not easy to achieve. Even practising monks find it difficult.

But it is possible.

Imagine being able to stop thinking at will, on demand, at any time and in any place.

Imagine being able to create a space in your head where there are no thoughts and no emotions... just space and awareness of the sounds and smells and visual images around you...awareness of the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body.

Continue reading "Can You Stop Thinking?"

How To Build Self Confidence

What Is Holding You Back From Pursuing Your Dreams?

Your self confidence is based on ability. Your self confidence is all about your level of trust, faith and belief in your abilities [your power] and capabilities [your potential].

There is a deeper question that lies behind the question of HOW you build self confidence and that is WHY do you need to build self confidence?

Continue reading "How To Build Self Confidence"

How To Overcome Fear And Perform Powerfully

Learning how to overcome fear and perform powerfully is a skill that we all need to acquire as fear of failure affects most of us at some point in our lives.

Whilst it is natural to feel a level of fear and anxiety in difficult situations, and this can be a powerful stimulant to an excellent performance, it can also be debilitating and hold us back from doing our best or - in extreme cases - cause us to not engage.

The technique I am sharing here is an NLP based technique that I have used a number of times to very great effect.

Continue reading "How To Overcome Fear And Perform Powerfully"

Dance Into The Light And Stop Chasing Your Tail

You are creating hell on earth when you are too subsumed within your underlying and deeply embedded negative energetic states.

To counter your dissatisfactions and misery you initially go unconscious and over-indulge in all the usual distractions...

You recharge your batteries and get back on track only to revert to type with your usual activities of miss-creation driven by underlying negative energetic states.

The result of all this is that you end up repeating the cycle and "chasing your tail" to make up for the impacts of the unintentional miss-creations of your negative energy.

Continue reading "Dance Into The Light And Stop Chasing Your Tail"

Change Your Language To Change How You Feel

How you mentally characterize a situation has a profound impact on how you respond to it emotionally.

There is a direct causal link between how you think about a situation, the words you use to articulate those thoughts, the energetic state associated with those words, and the results you create.

Changing your dominant emotional or energetic state has a profound effect on the positive creations and results that you experience, so any change to the way you frame a situation is going to have a significant impact on those creations and results.

Change your language to change your results.

Continue reading "Change Your Language To Change How You Feel"

How To Live In A Participatory Universe

What good is a universe without somebody around to look at it?

What Conclusions Can We Draw About Living In A Participatory Universe?

The inescapable conclusion is that the world and the universe (within which we see it positioned) is the result of mind.

This does not suggest individual human mind (in the sense of I see whatever I choose to see) but a collective transpersonal mind – perhaps better described as a cosmic consciousness.

Put simply: there is something out there holding it all together, and I call it "The Energy Of Life”.

Continue reading "How To Live In A Participatory Universe"

4 Keys To Working With The Energy Of Life

The journey home to the energy of life does not consist in arriving at a new destination it is a coming home to one’s self.

[1] How are you feeling, what is your dominant emotion right now?

[2] Where is your certainty when there is no certainty?

[3] Where are you grounded?

Here is where and how can you find that foundation for certainty...

Continue reading "4 Keys To Working With The Energy Of Life"

How To Deal With The Challenges Of Playing The Long Game

You have to be willing to suffer today in order to reap enormous rewards tomorrow.

The long game is so hard to play because it involves taking a series of very small steps, that people rarely see, persistently and consistently over a long period of time to reach an enormous and visible outcome.

Playing the long game is doubly difficult when you are traveling on a road less traveled that is not well defined, where the milestones and metrics are not known when you start out on this journey.

Here are some proven techniques, based on my personal experience, that will help you deal with these challenges.

Continue reading "How To Deal With The Challenges Of Playing The Long Game"

If You Don't Take Care Of You, Who Will?

How To Build Self Esteem

In my early life and until my early twenties I suffered from a deep inferiority complex and low self esteem.

Forty years later and, said in sincerity and with humility, I have a very healthy positive sense of self esteem.

This was a gradual process that developed progressively over time.

I realised very early on that the bed rock foundation of how to build self esteem is values based and these were my key themes:

Continue reading "If You Don't Take Care Of You, Who Will?"



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LATEST ARTICLES

  1. Your Relationship With Failure Is Critical To Your Success

    Just Because You Have A Spectacular Failure Doesn’t Mean The Game Is Over. The thought that you could fail can really slow you down. But the problem is not the failure, the problem is your relationshi…

    Read More

  2. Lost, Stuck & Going Round In Circles?

    Are You Lost In Transition? To be in an alien North African city, late in the evening, in the dark, completely lost in transition from the main market square back to the obscure location of our Riad…

    Read More

  3. Seeing Is Believing Or Is It?

    Do You Believe What You See Or Do You See What You Believe? Like the characters in "The Matrix" we are fooled by the illusion that what we see is how things really are. Why? Because this is the mind's…

    Read More

  4. What Difference Did You Make?

    What Impact Will You Leave In The Lives Of Others? If you knew you were going to die tonight and you were given a few minutes to reflect before that happened, what would you say was the meaning of yo…

    Read More

  5. Compassion Is Selfish And You Need It

    If You Want Others To Be Happy, Practice Compassion. If You Want To Be Happy, Practice Compassion. Compassion is derived from the Latin words "com pati" meaning to suffer with. It has been defined as…

    Read More

  6. The Placebo Effect - 2 Key Takeaways

    The Power Of Expectation Of An Outcome Regardless Of The Lack Of Any Substance To That Expectation. Traditionally, the placebo effect occurs when false, or dummy, treatments of inert substances [that…

    Read More

  7. The Red Pill

    This Is What Will Happen After You Take It. "This is your last chance," rebel leader Morpheus tells Neo, holding a coloured pill in each hand. “You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in y…

    Read More

  8. Transformational Life Hacks

    This Has To Be One Of The Best Ways For Living The Best Life You Can Possibly Live. An online search on life hacks will invariably provide you with multiple links to ways of increasing your productivi…

    Read More

  9. This Too Shall Pass

    The Blessing And The Curse Of Impermanence. There is a story of a king who sought wisdom. Eventually he heard of a man living in a remote part of the kingdom who had a reputation for great wisdom. The…

    Read More

  10. The Stories We Tell Ourselves

    The Stories That We Tell Ourselves Are A Matter Of Choice. The stories we tell ourselves form the backcloth and the tapestry of our lives. These narratives shape and define our sense of self and how a…

    Read More

  11. Who Do You Trust?

    Trust Is A Choice And It Creates Your Reality. Nothing in life is permanent and nothing lasts forever. Every relationship ends in tears. Somebody leaves or somebody dies. This is how things are. This…

    Read More

  12. How Positive Asymmetry Can Transform Your Life

    Finding This Hidden Value Is The Key To A Huge Upside. Most of us spend our lives working to linear rules where there is an equal relationship between effort and result. Work hard you get a result. Wo…

    Read More

  13. 5 Tips For Developing A Growth Mindset

    How To Be There When Preparation Meets Opportunity. The growth mindset holds the core belief that your intelligence and personality is something you can develop and that you can expand and grow. The p…

    Read More

  14. Lost For Words? Experience Truth

    If you can't think of the right thing to say, say nothing. The concepts we employ, the categorizations we apply and the words we choose and use to articulate a direct experience put us in a double bi…

    Read More

  15. Belief - A Terrible Tyrant Or An Empowering Servant

    To Believe Or Not To Believe - That Is The Question. Nothing has inflicted more suffering on humanity than its beliefs and dogmas. The religious and cultural beliefs that sanction and allow or impose…

    Read More

  16. How To Avoid Herd Mentality

    How To Stay Far From The Madding Crowd. Herd mentality describes how we make decisions based on what everyone else is thinking and doing. It is also known as a mob or crowd mentality. We follow the he…

    Read More

  17. Are You Trying To Teach A Cat To Bark?

    We Suffer Every Time We Believe A Thought That Argues With What Is. When your mind is perfectly clear, what is, is what you want. If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try…

    Read More

  18. The Value Of Slack

    Slack Is The Capacity To Effect Change And The Resource To Deal With The Unexpected. Many organizations are obsessed with efficiency and try to ensure that every resource is fully utilized to its full…

    Read More

  19. 6 Tips To Help You Stop Trying Too Hard

    Less and less do you need to force things, until you arrive at non-action. We are brought up to believe that we get what we want in life as a result of what we do, by the actions that we take, that ha…

    Read More

  20. Your Point Of Focus

    Is It Helping You Or Hindering You? Your point of focus is the central point of your attention. Your point of focus is a binary choice and the result of that choice is critical to your happiness, your…

    Read More

  21. Your Secret For Success

    To accomplish any success in life, you must identify accurately what it is that you hunger for, thirst for and long for. The purpose of this article is to look at the foundation of the secret for succ…

    Read More

  22. Can You Stop Thinking?

    Discover The Joy Of A Quiet Mind Can you stop thinking? According to Zen Buddhist priest Shunmyo Masuno the art of not thinking about anything is not easy to achieve. Even practising monks find it dif…

    Read More

  23. How To Build Self Confidence

    What Is Holding You Back From Pursuing Your Dreams? Your self confidence is based on ability. Your self confidence is all about your level of trust, faith and belief in your abilities [your power] and…

    Read More

  24. How To Overcome Fear And Perform Powerfully

    Learning how to overcome fear and perform powerfully is a skill that we all need to acquire as fear of failure affects most of us at some point in our lives. Whilst it is natural to feel a level of fe…

    Read More

  25. Dance Into The Light And Stop Chasing Your Tail

    You are creating hell on earth when you are too subsumed within your underlying and deeply embedded negative energetic states. To counter your dissatisfactions and misery you initially go unconscious…

    Read More

  26. Change Your Language To Change How You Feel

    How you mentally characterize a situation has a profound impact on how you respond to it emotionally. There is a direct causal link between how you think about a situation, the words you use to articu…

    Read More

  27. How To Live In A Participatory Universe

    What good is a universe without somebody around to look at it? What Conclusions Can We Draw About Living In A Participatory Universe? The inescapable conclusion is that the world and the universe (wit…

    Read More

  28. 4 Keys To Working With The Energy Of Life

    The journey home to the energy of life does not consist in arriving at a new destination it is a coming home to one’s self. [1] How are you feeling, what is your dominant emotion right now? [2] Where…

    Read More

  29. How To Deal With The Challenges Of Playing The Long Game

    You have to be willing to suffer today in order to reap enormous rewards tomorrow. The long game is so hard to play because it involves taking a series of very small steps, that people rarely see, per…

    Read More

  30. If You Don't Take Care Of You, Who Will?

    How To Build Self Esteem In my early life and until my early twenties I suffered from a deep inferiority complex and low self esteem. Forty years later and, said in sincerity and with humility, I have…

    Read More