The Art Of Saying No

Why You Need To Master It



The Art Of Saying No - Overview

"The Art Of Saying No" is the title of a popular book by Damon Zahariades who specialises in writing and producing material on time management, improving personal productivity and developing habits to reinforce these skills.

The key themes of this book are learning how to:

  • Set personal boundaries
  • Stop being a people pleaser
  • Stop being taken for granted
  • Reclaim your personal authority
  • Focus on your priorities and get things done












Why You Need To Master The Art Of Saying No

This article is about WHY you need to practise the art of saying no.

If you are clear about the "Why?" then the "How?" will follow because you will have the motivation.

This site is for people who are experiencing tough times, to show you how to cope in tough times, and to provide you with the tools to do this successfully.

The focus of this site is on learning how to think effectively, learning how to not think, and acquiring the skills to improve your responses to the events and situations that you encounter in life.

The bedrock of all this is that the stronger your responses are to what happens to you in life - the better will be the outcomes that you experience.

Let's ask 3 big questions then follow that with 2 big pegs in the ground :






3 QUESTIONS


[1] What is your core desire? Why are you here? What is your direction of travel?

[2] What is your point of focus? Are you clear on what you want out of life?

[3] What is your life purpose? If you knew you were going to die tonight and you were given a few minutes to reflect before that happened, what would you say was the meaning of your life?






These are big questions and you may be wondering what all this has to do with an article on the art of saying no?

My response to that is to suggest that:

  1. If you accept that you are not a victim passively drifting through life like driftwood on an outgoing tide then you do have choices and those choices start within yourself.
  2. You are going to die [we are all going to die] the only unknowns are how and when. Faced with this certainty I suggest that a level of clarity about the focus and meaning of your life is important.




2 PEGS IN THE GROUND





    [2] Focus on things you can control, ignore the rest.

    The Stoics referred to this as "the dichotomy of control".

    Modern psychologists refer to this as having an “internal locus of control”  meaning you believe that you are responsible for your responses to what happens in your life.

    The alternative is that you adopt the passive role of victim.

     






The Art Of Saying No - Resources



The One Thing - a process for:

  • Focusing your attention and your actions on the achievement of  the one big thing you want to achieve.
  • Narrowing your present focus down to the one next step you must take to progress you towards that one big thing.

Rather Than Trying To Win, Focus On Avoiding Losses

  • Adjust your strategy to your abilities.
  • For example, if you are an “ordinary” tennis player, this means understanding that amateur tennis is a “loser’s game” where success comes from avoiding losses.

Deep Work - Producing At Your Peak Level With Full Concentration

  • The capacity to rapidly mentally get to grips with hard things and the resultant ability to produce at a consistently high-quality level, are core prerequisites for surviving and prospering in the current economy.
  • “The differences between expert performers and normal adults reflect a life-long period of deliberate effort to improve performance in a specific domain.”
  • “To produce at your peak level you need to work for extended periods with full concentration on a single task free from distraction.”

Atomic Habits - Tiny Changes Remarkable Results Over Time - they are:

  • The single irreducible component that when practiced regularly yield incredible results through the power of compound growth.
  • Comprised of small and seemingly insignificant changes that will compound into remarkable results if you persist with them consistently over many years.
  • The result of having the right system in place. Bad habits are the result of you having the wrong system in place.


Playing The Long Game- Delay Gains Now To Get More Later

  • The long game describes an approach to any area of life that sacrifices short term gains for long-term wins.
  • It is about having a long term goal and taking the necessary steps now to set yourself up for long term success.







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